Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Follow-up to the Summit Tribute


I want to think everyone for the incredibly kind thoughts and comments about Summit's passing. I am always humbled and touched when my deeply personal pieces reach a large audience and seem to connect even with people that I've never met. The Summit tribute has ended up being read by a surprisingly large amount of readers. I am glad what I wrote was able to resonate with so many people, and every condolence meant the world to me. I have an amazing horde of readers, and even my first time (and maybe last time) readers rock the awesomeness.

It has been almost a week, but the house still feels eerily empty. I have learned how much my day revolved around Summit. Every morning and night seems incomplete without taking Summit on a walk. When we have to go somewhere, my instinct is to still call Summit so he can go out for his 'business.' Coming home has lost some of it pleasure as I don't have Summit running around the door and declaring my arrival for all in the neighbourhood. Summit was not only a beloved family member, but he was a huge part of my life. I'm learning it will take some time to adjust to life post-Summit.

We gave him a small memorial outside our house on Friday and had him buried on the property. I like to think he will always be here in some form. Everett ended up trying to dig up some of the dirt, because he wasn't ready to say good-bye. He then decided he wanted to be in the hole with Summit. When all those options were vetoed, he asked if we could get a new dog that looked and acted just like Summit that we could name, Summit.

I've got a lot of kind emails over the last few days with people who will miss Summit as well and shared some of their favourite memories of him. It means a lot to know our family dog meant so much to other people. Reading those kind thoughts has really helped the days that have really felt empty and missing.

I was also informed that during my tribute to Summit, I forgot to mention his intelligence. My fondest memories were his affections and how much he loved my family. Summit did have a few tricks we used to entertain guests. He especially liked to do a torquing dance on the leg of excited visitors (especially my brother), but I don't think that is the trick that I am supposed to mention. 

He would sit and wait for his food until getting the release word, "okay." He also would play dead, which consisted of someone shouting "bang" while mimicking a gun with their hand, then Summit would drop to his side until 'alive' was uttered. He also would shake your hand, give high five, spin around, give a hug, poke a fist with his nose, walk backwards, and bark on command. Though he often barked on his own too, so that was less impressive. I think, we have a video that shows off all his skills somewhere.

What I will remember most is the long walks and him always being there for hugs and pets. He was a smart dog, but it is his love that will endure.

Once again, RIP Summit and I will love you always.


Monday, November 20, 2017

The Breakdown of 'Justice League', 'Wonder', 'Suburbicon', 'The Killer' and 'Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond'


This week The Breakdown is dedicated to the bundle of furry energy and the most lovable dog in the world, Summit, who passed away last Thursday. To honour his memory, we have five big movie reviews including one of the biggest movies of the year in the big superhero team-up event, Justice League. As well, we look at the heartwarming Oscar contender, Wonder, and George Clooney's latest directorial effort, Suburbicon. Then we discuss two Netflix originals in the Brazilian Western, The Killer and the documentary, Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond. As always if you enjoy the show then we would really appreciate you passing the word to other movie lovers.

Remember you can now subscribe either to The Movie Breakdown feed (a subscription link is at the top right hand of this site) or on iTunes.



Breakdown Outline:

1:15 Dedication and talk about Summit
6:12 Justice League review
34:43 Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond review
54:05 Wonder review
1:10:30 The Killer review
1:23:11 Suburbicon review
1:35:15 Review Rundown

Rating Rundown:

Justice League ** (CS)
Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond ** (CS & SM)
Wonder ***½ (CS)
The Killer *** (CS) ***½ (SM)
Suburbicon *½ (CS)

Friday, November 17, 2017

RIP Summit: A Tribute to the World's Greatest 95 Pound Lap Dog and My Lovable Furry Son


Summit was born July 7, 2009, but he came home with us on September 12th and instantly became my furry little son. He remained furry, but little was a thing he grew out of pretty quick. Not that he seemed to notice this fact because if you were seated on the floor, he would happily plop right into your lap. Sitting on a couch was no way to avoid his affection, as he would make sure to bury his large head right into your lap so you have optimal position to shower him with pets. If you weren't down with the lap attack and decided to stand up, he would be more than happy to sit on your toes as he push his body as close into you as possible. If that didn't work then maybe you wanted to experience life as a cowboy, as he would push his body in-between your legs so that you were now mounting him like a horse. If the rodeo was your thing, just find his magic scratch spot and he would jump around and do a happy dance while in-between your legs. Summit liked to be as close as possible to those that he loved, and if you once gave him pets, you were on the love list for life.


Bernese Mountain Dogs are said to be life-long puppies in that they would always be affectionate, get into things if the opportunity arose, and be up for playing at any moment. And if there are several people out to dispute that, then fine, but I definitely just described Summit the eternal and very affectionate puppy dog. Every day without fail while writing, Summit would make sure to make a visit over to me where he would push his muzzle underneath my arm then try to lift it into the air, so that I knew it was now time for pets. While his automatic response to a doorbell was loud and bellowing barks, seconds after he did his sniff inspection he then would push forward for pets or get in position to be mounted. Much of the day he would spend sprawled out and relaxing, but he would join in the moment there was dancing or laughing or anything that looked fun. If the words "walk' or 'hike' were uttered then he would bounce around the room and bark to the heavens.


Before Everett and Danika, it was Summit and Crosby (our cat who passed away in 2012). They were family and I loved them like children. Summit's first month at our home was training for what would happen when newborns would eventually live here. While Summit was being house broken, we kept him in a dog crate to minimize damage. There were many 2:00 am days where I would be leaping out of bed because I heard movement and I feared a disaster was about to erupt. Some days I got him outside in time, others it was an early bath for Summit


Luckily, unlike our human babies, Summit figured out the "toilet training" pretty quick, though to be fair, Everett may have mastered it faster if we just let him pee outside too. Shortly after the crate training was done, Summit decided he would sleep in the bedroom with us every night. He initially was trying to pitch sleeping right in the bed with us, by hopping in every night, but Emily wasn't about to accept an additional 95 pounds taking up space. He settled for many years laying right beside our bed. Though I confess that any night that Emily was away, I did not sleep alone and Summit knew the drill, not even waiting for an invite to occupy Emily's side.


Summit was good pals with his brother, Crosby. Crosby was not a cat that liked other cats or any dogs. When Summit first arrived, he seemed to know enough to give the cat space for a few weeks. By that time he was several times bigger than Crosby, he was able to force a friendship that largely consisted of Summit diving at him and Crosby swatting at his face. We knew the two had a decent relationship because Crosby always kept the claws in, or at least, until it was time to let Summit know that play time was over. When Crosby passed away, you could tell Summit really missed him. For the first few weeks after our walks, he would run to the stairs that Crosby would normally be waiting and then stand in shock that his buddy wasn't there. After that he would always get excited on walks if he came across a cat, probably hoping it would be his buddy in new fur.


After thinking we were done with cats, we actually decided to try out looking after a cat around Thanksgiving (October in Canada) this year. Summit instantly was ready to take up the Crosby play by offering up his face to be swatted, but new cat, Mittens, preferred to hiss at him and hide behind the piano. Summit probably due to being older, learned quickly to just ignore the cat and while they never formed any kind of relationship, Mittens was able to hang out in the same room with Summit. I am kind of sad that he never got to have one wrestling match with her.


After the passing of Crosby, Summit got himself some new buddies in Everett and eventually, Danika. He instantly was great with both our kids. He had no problem with them sitting on his head, crawling over his body, and definitely, appreciated all the food they dropped on the floor for him. I remember two summers ago when Emily took Summit on a canoe trip with her, Danika dumped the rice she didn't want on the floor and then quickly looked around, "Where's doggie?" Kids learned quickly that Summit would take care of anything that they didn't want.


The passing of Summit will be hard for our kids. Danika has a special bond with him. She would wake up most mornings always asking about the dog or cheering if he came into the room with me. She loved taking him on morning walks and was always excited when she knew doggie would be coming with us to the park or for a stroll around the street. Both our kids have had Summit for their entire lives, so it will be a big adjustment not being knocked over daily by the running dog.


Summit got a small lump about two months ago. It grew to a massive size in a matter of weeks. Cancer is very common in Berners, and Summit was already past the average life span for his breed. I had hopes that we would have a few more years, but the rapid growing lump meant it was time to enjoy what we had left. I am glad that Summit remained happy and full of energy until his very last day.


There wasn't much change in his demeanour over the last two months. He still loved his 45 minutes walks with daddy. He ran through the halls with celebration any time I came home. He was mostly the dog that I had loved for the last 8 plus years, except his appetite had diminished some. Summit always enjoyed life and never stopped showing his affection.


Yesterday morning, I tried taking him out for his "business", but instead he plopped himself on the grass, something he never did before, It was clear he wasn't in the mood for any type of walking. When I came back from dropping Everett off to school, for the first time ever he didn't run to greet me or bark to alert the neighbours that I was home. Though when I called out his name, he still wagged his tail as he laid curled up on his bed. So, Danika and I spent the morning hugging and petting him. He quietly passed away in my arms at around 11:30am. Poor Danika had no clue why her daddy hadn't stopped bawling the entire day. I am glad that Everett was able to say his good byes to Summit, and I know the next few days will be hard for him. It will be hard for us all.


Summit was family. He was my furry son. He was my exercise buddy who got me to walk two times a day. He was my best friend who made a big deal every time I got home. He encouraged, inspired, and most of all, loved me. I had a very deep love for him too.


I know my wife, Emily, and my kids really love me. Sometimes I also know I disappoint them or that I upset them. They aren't always in the mood to show affection to me. Even when I was at my most depressed or I was in a hostile mood or that I did something really stupid, Summit would wag his tail so that ir could knock down towers and then he would snuggle up against me. I couldn't do any wrong in Summit's eyes. He loved me unconditionally. He made me feel like a hero. He reminded me every day of the importance of showing unconditional love to family and friends. I always knew that he adored and loved me.


When I lost my grandma, it was a pretty rough day for me, and Summit never left my side that day. He let me squeeze him and cry into his fur for as long as I needed. The night that I came home after Everett was born, he sensed that I was going through some emotions and he made sure to stick with me the entire time. He also let me again hug him and just cry. Summit was always the first to sense that I was sad or down, and he would be my side immediately.


I had a very special relationship with Summit. One that will will last a life time, even though I will never feed him another chicken frame or take him for another walk. I have so many memories and know so many days were made better because I had that loving and full of energy dog by my side. One of the great things about being a freelance writer who worked at home, was how much time I got to bond with Summit.


We may have another dog someday. But we will never have a dog quite like Summit. A large mountain of a canine that thought he was the size of a Shih Tzu, but way more affectionate and friendly, He was a good guard dog that would bark at anyone that approached our house, but would just as quickly be willing to invite them in when they passed his nose inspection. He was very loyal, and whenever we went for walks, he always made sure that the family was close together. If he was on a hike off leash and one family member got too far behind, he would run back and forth until all were reunited. He loved water, maybe as much as he loved us. If there was a lake or pond or puddle, then he felt he needed to be in it. I have many great memories of throwing his toys into the lake and watching him run in to swim after it. He was happiest outside and even happier in the water. He was everything that I could have wanted in a dog, and so thankful for the 8 and a half years that I had with him.


It is when you have to say good bye that things like the poop on the carpet or the destroyed box of chocolates that were supposed to be gifts, no longer matter He was a dork. He loved to dragged dirty diapers out of the garbage and leave nasty remnants all over the house. Now, even his most annoying habits make me smile. It was what made him Summit, and Summit was a dog that I loved dearly.


Yesterday was incredibly hard. I am still so sad and heartbroken, but this time, I don't have Summit to hug or cry into his fur. This time I am crushed, because I lost my buddy and my furry son. This will be a hard weekend, but I will have his memories to keep me going.


RIP Summit. I will miss you and I love you so much. You were the greatest dog that I could have ever wanted. You will always have a place in this family and in my heart.


Monday, November 13, 2017

Woah, I'm Halfway There!

The average life expectancy for a Canadian male is 80 years old, which if I follow that, means I am have now lived half of my life. Now, if my body decides to follow my grandmother, I would still have another eight more years before reaching my life's midway point (and I would start looking better in flowery dresses). Of course, a weather satellite may fall on me next week and I would actually be near the end. But 40 years old is a lot of living and seems to be that age where one reflects a little on one's life and what has been accomplished.

A lot has happened during my lifetime. A chubby lasagna loving cat was really trendy on posters decrying Mondays. There was an animated series about a sword wielding cat and his feline friends battling other anthropomorphic animals and their blue mummy ruler. Facebook arrived to be an easy place to find funny and cute cat videos. Personally I once woke up to a cat horking up a hairball on my comforter. Plus there was lots of events not involving cats that probably happened too.

I'm at this stage where my brain is jammed with personal memories, but only a few really remain vivid. Most of them have likely been distorted due to my creative writer brain. At least it means what remains is more interesting so it makes it easier to accept them as the new reality. No matter how truthful are those memories, I trust the emotions and feelings remain honest.

My career isn't what I would have expected when I was 12, but at the time, I thought I would be a sports broadcaster. Not really sure when that stopped being my big dream, but I do know even as far back as 6 that I carried around a notebook full of stories and poems. Writing was a thing that I always loved, even if I had not seen it as what would be my job. I also know that a goal for as long as I can remember was to have a novel published.

At 40 years old, I don't have that published novel, no screenplay being picked up by a big studio, or a locked in job with a major magazine. But I have written stuff that went viral, wrote one off articles to major online outlets, and once was a strong candidate for major position with a New York entertainment publisher (of course, less discussed the better, as the end result still haunts me).

My greatest accomplishment is all the amazing relationships over the years. I am blessed to say I still am good friends with my childhood best friend. I have maintained close relationships with friends that I made in high school. It is great to still have a connection with people who have seen me grow and change, yet still like me. I can say 40 years has been more than enough time for me to really love and appreciate my parents and siblings who get even greater as the years go by.

My greatest relationships are with the three people that greet me every morning. Sure, two of them grunt at me instead of say "Good morning", but on a daily basis they promise me love, laughter, and adventure. They are my ultimate inspiration. Emily, Everett and Danika are my family, and their smiles are a greater treasures than any success I may obtain with writing.

This has gotten rather sappy, but maybe that is what 40 is about. Ignore the regrets and avoid dwelling on the failures, but hold close to what really matters.

I hope I have 40 more years. Though if I can be choosey, it would be cool if this sore neck, wonky hip and creaking knees took a break for the next 30 years or so. The exciting thing is how much everything changes over such a short period of time. Seven years ago I didn't even have kids. Fifteen years ago I was still single. Thirty years ago I thought Alf was brilliant storytelling. Maybe in 10 years I'll be living on the moon and have the ability to transform into a tiger. You just never know.

The past 40 years did not turn out the way that I expected, but I wouldn't change it a bit. Here to 40 more, and thank you to all that have made the first 40 so spectacular.

Don't See 'Daddy's Home 2' or Its Trailer

See the source image

I do not want you to go see Daddy's Home Two. As you know since you all listen to The Movie Breakdown podcast, it is one of those comedies that decides to not be funny and the inclusion of ass-smacking Mel Gibson sours any attempt at family Christmas movie. If you need to scratch that movie theatre itch, you will find a much funnier and better movie about family issues in Thor: Ragnarok. Despite that I am begging you to not see it, I have my anal retentive thing on the podcast where I need to tell you if it is worth seeing in 3D and if there is a stinger. If Daddy's Home Two was available in 3D, I can safely say you can once again get your third dimension hunger stuffed with Thor: Ragnarok. As for the stinger, yes there is one. Is it worth staying for? Well, anything after the opening credits is not worth sticking around to see. It is John Lithgow playing the sincere but goofy grandpa, which means it is grin-worthy, which is not something I can say about the rest of the movie.

The Breakdown of 'Murder on the Orient Express', 'Daddy's Home Two', 'Colossal', 'Stripes', and 'Army of Darkness'


The Breakdown is rocking out five movie reviews this year including two new theatrical releases. First we have the latest adaptation of the Agatha Christie murder mystery classic, Murder on the Orient Express. We also have the sequel to a surprise comedy hit, Daddy's Home Two. Then we discuss another 2017 movie, in the only Anne Hathaway comedy where she controls a Seoul crushing monster, Colossal. We then hop into the WayBack Machine for two popular hits from past decades including the Bill Murray starring Army training comedy, Stripes and the third chapter in the Evil Dead series, Army of Darkness. As always, if you enjoy the show then please spread the word to other movie fans.

Remember you can now subscribe either to The Movie Breakdown feed (a subscription link is at the top right hand of this site) or on iTunes.


Movie Breakdown Outline:

00:51 Colossal review
20:10 Murder on the Orient Express review
40:45 Stripes review
1:03:02 Daddy's Home Two review
1:20:25 Army of Darkness review
1:44:43 Rating Rundown

Rating Rundown:

Colossal ***½ (CS & SM)
Murder on the Orient Express ** (CS)
Stripes ***½ (CS & SM)
Daddy's Home Two * (CS)
Army of Darkness *** (CS) & ***½ (SM)

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Blue Chilled Takes


I have about one hundred and fifty two writing ideas on a daily basis. I never struggle having something to write about as much as I do picking what I write about. Having a problem like that would make one think the blog would be stuffed with content on a daily basis. As I've whined about in the past, it has been the exact opposite over the last few years. I often have a hot streak of articles for a few days and then outside of the podcast, take a long posting hiatus.

Part of the problem has been the overbearing depression and anxiety that I have written about to the point of nausea. Another big part is I have things like client work and being a dad, and when the emotions sap the energy dry then I need to prioritize, and those two things will always beat out the blog output (unless I could make money on here then it becomes a job).

The other issue is that over the last several years, I've written for relatively big pop culture sites obsessed with the clicks. The rule from all these sites is that all pieces posted need to be piping hot takes. If some news has broken or a trailer released, then a piece on it needs to have been written and posted ten minutes ago. I have had editors say that if something can't be written and posted in an hour then don't bother, because they have already moved on to something else. Timeliness is the most important thing to drawing in that coveted audience, because a site is trying to beat two hundred other sites with opinions on that delicious news item.

What that has meant for the blog is that I'll compose an opinion piece on something fresh in pop culture or start writing a movie review for the latest release then Danika will threaten to ride the clothes hamper down the stairs or a big paying project will land on my lap, so I need to push the piece aside for that moment. Once the stair tumble is avoided and the assignment sent off, then dinner needs to be cooked then that leads to putting kids to bed, and the next thing that I know the emotions crazy strawing away my energy to the point that I have nothing left for the blog.

In what I will openly admit is nothing more than a thinly veiled excuse, I return to the piece that now contains 'news' that has been extensively analyzed by every pop culture site and I decide it is old and stale. This past year has far too many discarded and unfinished articles stockpiled away than I am willing to admit.

The reality is that this site has never been nor will it ever be a hot movies news site. I am not going to break any news. It is foolish to think that I draw any kind of audience for piping red hot takes. My audience exists for one reason, and that is to actually read what I have to say. It isn't a large audience and I wouldn't even feel comfortable calling them fans, but anyone that comes here knows the words and opinions are mine. Unless they clicked it by accident, they are reading because they are interested to find out my take. Which also means that 'timeliness' likely matters far less than I try to convince myself when opting to throw away a piece.

It is humbling for me to think that my little name has somehow over time grown a daily audience that consists of hundreds of readers. While hundreds means very little to sponsors or in comparison to any pop culture site, it is still a lot for me to grasp. I often try to convince myself that I need to have fresh news or something beyond my words to bring in that audience.

The thing that I am learning is that writing is really important for my emotional and mental health. Being able to write whatever I want is a rewarding and uplifting experience. At the best of times, I would even say it is spiritual. This means that even in those darker emotional evening hours, I need to force myself to write more even if the 'news' is growing some mold.

I've decided that it is time to be okay with 'blue chilled takes.' I am going to start writing movie reviews even if it was release weeks or years ago. I have tributes to celebrities that I wanted to do, even if it is now years past their death. I have passion and thoughts that still hold relevance. While some news no longer has much point to be discussed, there are other things that I can still connect the dots to current events and will drive me to churn out a few hundred words.

Will anyone want to read it? Will it be interesting? I hope so. I won't find that out until I write them. While my goal is to also write about things that are current and steaming, I will also not allow something that is a few decades old be a reason not to write about it. So get ready for my perspective on the invention of this thing called the television, it may reshape how we get information!

All is Right in the World. . . of iTunes

For those who specifically listen to The Movie Breakdown episodes on iTunes but don't subscribe to the show. you can now listen to the The Breakdown of Horror show from last week without problems. I ended up moving the episode back over to Internet Archive, because iTunes and Podbean don't know how to play nicely together with my feed. Now, all shows are back on Internet Archive and every one will play without problem on iTunes. I still don't know why the Podbean enclosure link caused such a problem, but it was enough to convince me that I'm not really interested in using their services anymore. I likely will move my feed at some point, but will be looking for a site with stronger customer service and provides little headaches during the migration process (and will preferably upload every episode we've done, but that may be asking for too much). Along with that eventual move to a better site, I am planning to increase the marketing of the podcast and start some more interactive features connected to the show, which I hope will increase the audience and allow for either sponsors or confidence a Patreon would work, so we can offer more shows and content in the future.

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Today's Small Victory: Last Week's iTunes Issues Were Not My Feed's Fault

Last week, I had some technical issues posting last week's podcast, so after 4 years using Internet Archive to post the podcast, I decided to use Podbean instead. Then suddenly, a new issue arose where the podcast would not play directly on iTunes, but would play on the blog, on Podbean, on my Feed, and for iTunes Breakdown subscribers. I enlisted the help from Podbean, Blogger, and iTunes, with the concern it was likely something to do with the enclosure link, but all ignored that and blamed it on my feed. A feed that never gave me trouble and was playing just fine outside of iTunes.

Just as an experiment, I decided posting this week's show back on Internet Archive. It did not have technical issues this week, even if long term I do have some concern about its reliability. Well, the show has been posted for a few hours, and it is now on iTunes and playing perfectly right on the site. So, basically everything is working just like it did with every other episode other than last week's (the lone Podbean episode).

All this to say, I was right. It has nothing to do with my feed. The issue is something with Podbean, likely an error with their enclosure link. This really doesn't earn me anything, other than knowing that I was correct last week even as all the tech experts ignored me. I win over the experts!

I don't know what this means going forward. Last week proved that Internet Archive isn't the most reliable and I have had mounting issues with it for months now. But it eventually gets posted, and obviously works nicely with iTunes. Podbean on the other hand costs money, doesn't play nicely with my feed, and their customer service failed to provide any solution. I am in the mood to do better research and find a better host. For now, I may be sticking it out with Internet Archive after all.

Apologies for all the people who are now snoring and had no clue what I was writing about. Just know podcast is good to go this week, no matter how you like to listen to it.

The Breakdown of 'Thor: Ragnarok', 'A Bad Moms Christmas', 'The Drop', 'Cult of Chucky', and 'The Pacifier'


It is a day late, but The Breakdown is piping hot with five big movie reviews. We have one of the biggest movies of the year in Thor: Ragnarok. As well, we have a second new release in the holiday comedy, A Bad Moms Christmas. From there we have the latest instalment of a long running slasher franchise, Cult of Chucky, as well as the Tom Hardy gangster movie, The Drop, and finally, the family action comedy, The Pacifier. As always if you love the show then please spread the word to other movie fans.

Note: Apologies there are some major technical issues with the sound for the last 3 minutes of the show. Also the outro some how was cut off.

Remember you can now subscribe either to The Movie Breakdown feed (a subscription link is at the top right hand of this site) or on iTunes.



The Movie Breakdown Outline:

01:41 Tribute to John Midlane (Scott's Grandfather-in-law)
06:00 Christopher's Halloween with the kids & Scott's death trap that scares Trick or Treaters & some horror discussion
16:57 Thor: Ragnarok review
41:14 The Drop review
1:00:50 A Bad Moms Christmas review
1:15:38 Cult of Chucky review
1:34:40 The Pacifier review
1:51:02 Review Rundown


Rating Rundown:

Thor: Ragnarok *** (CS)
The Drop ***½ (CS & SM)
A Bad Moms Christmas *½ (CS)
Cult of Chucky *½ (CS & SM)
The Pacifier *½ (CS & SM)


Monday, November 06, 2017

'The Breakdown' Can Be Delayed But Never Stopped

In a few minutes, we will be recording this week's episode of the Breakdown. Once again we apologize for it being late, but are excited to have a show up for you by Tuesday morning. All is now right with the world.

'Fifty Shades Freed' Trailer Promises Bondage, Stalkers, and the Actress from 'American Pie Presents: Band Camp'


I mind as well write something about the apparent last Fifty Shades Freed trailer (even though I don't remember there being any before this one), because unless a site, paper or magazine offers me some of that sweet cash, then I have no intention of reviewing the movie come February.

Part of that is due to the fact that the people who are going to see this will see it no matter what I say, but will just see it after nasty instructions on where I should stick my foot. Actually, it might not be that bad, because it isn't a DC Comics property, and stained Thundercats t-shirt wearing guys typing away in their grandma's basement won't care if this gets a negative reaction. But I am also almost 99.9% positive that I will hate this and that I won't have much to bring to the conversation considering that I never read the books or seen the other movies.

The other part of not seeing this movie is also why I skipped the others, being a lone guy watching a movie like this at the cinema is beyond the uncomfortable threshold that I want to endure. I think my max was achieved when I went to see The Fault in Our Stars with fifty plus iPhone glued teenage girls (well, I didn't go with them rather they happened to be there when I arrived). But at least that movie was good, and Scott saw it too, so we got to discuss it on the podcast. This likely won't have any of those benefits.

But I think the trailer promises all the things that appeals to the people that have turned this into a blockbuster franchises. I saw whips and blindfolds and jets and suits and stalkers. They all have stalkers right? And Dakota Johnson gets jealous over a past love, because I think that is a recurring thing. Well, I don't think Dakota get jealous but she plays the lady who gets jealous. Plus Kim Basinger is in it, and without bothering to fact check, I am pretty sure she has been here before. It has everything the fans have been hankering.

So get excited. I'll pass. This really looks generic and dull and melodramatic, and make Adam Sandler movies seems like complex character studies. But the real good news is that Arielle Kebbel, from such hits as American Pie Presents: Band Camp, Grudge 2 and Vampires Suck, gets to play an architect or a home designer or a curtain salesperson. That is really what I was hoping out of 2018, so real happy with that.