Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Cat vs. Dog

The universal question: 'Which pet do you prefer, cat or dog?' Unfortunately, I've never been able to give a straight answer. I have never been able to definitely pick one cute, furry animal over the other. Partly because I have a family that owns both animals. Mainly because I never bothered to give it much thought. Since being home (without a job), I've had lots of time to spend with both pets. I've now come to a definitive answer. Since it's me typing this post, I'm going to hold off revealing my response until I've commenced with much verbiage.

I'll give my view on each of the two pets along with some observations I've made. I've randomly decided that cats will be the first to be examined. First things first, I originally declared myself a cat lover over dogs. They don't poo where ever they want. They tend to keep themselves clean. They aren't prone to slobber over your brand new vest. They also have that mystery about them where you always ponder what they are thinking (kind of like girls). But then I also realized they are fiercely independant and can be sort of introverted. Though they still like to come around and let you know they love ya. They also seem to be highly intellengent animals.

My discovery, was that I think it's the kittens I adore. They are super playful. They are always curious. They are ultra cute. I'm getting a feeling that using words like 'cute' may once again have me forced to revoke my Manly Man Membership. I like kittens; maybe even love them. When they get older, they seem less likely to want to play. They tend to not mind if you're never in a close distance to them. Which does have the plus side of making them low maitenence.

Now, dogs are very different. They will poop wherever they want. They can start to stink. They don't tend to come off so intelligent. Low maintenence probably isn't the best way to describe them. But they sure like attention. As puppy dogs, they have all the playfulness, cuteness and curiosity(ness) of a kitten. Even when they get older, the playfulness seems to be there but just in shorter spurts. They don't tend to lose the need for attention or company. I definitely wouldn't classify dogs as introverts. They like the people.

Now, I know that some dogs don't fall under this category. Some cats can be full of affection at an older age. I love my cat but it would never allow for the cuddling and snuggling. On the other hand, the Scruffster (family dog) will follow you where you ago and loves to sit on the lap. Others may argue things are reverse for them. In my case, it isn't.

The truth is, I like affection and attention. I love to give it to others. Thus me and Scruffy have been best of pals of late. It's only strengthened my opinion of the doggies. Sure, she needs the maintenence and isn't going to win any Noble prizes. I probably never will wonder what she is thinking (answer is food). She has her charm. I sure appreciate having her to play with and walk during the day. I like her nestling up to me before we go to bed even if she probably doesn't like me rolling on top of her in my sleep. Of course, Storm (the cat) definitely has his plus sides. I like to play with him too until he scratches me to let me know it's introvert time. Plus his 'meow' sound more like 'whine'.

Maybe I relate to dogs more because I can be described the same way. Playful. Cute. Open book. Easily amused. Furry. Drools. Uh. . . that's enough. But yes, I finally have an answer to the question. Dog or cat? Ruff Ruff!!!

Monday, October 03, 2005

World of Monkey Island

During my early teen years, there was one computer gaming series that wasted my time more then any other, the Secret of Monkey Island(1&2). Then of course, my early 20s arrived and it was wasted by the third and fourth installment. What wasn't there to love? It had pirates, monkies, humour and grog!!! I'm not sure what grog is exactly and I'm sure that I never actually would want to drink it; but it is in the game thus it deseve three proceding exclamation points!!! Anyway, it was very much an addictive game. Took up time that may have been better used studying or bettering my life. Because of it, I know a lot of historically inaccurate facts about Pirates. I have a very distorted view of what the Carribean was like during that time period. You can't get that from text books, now can you?

Anyway, my little sister has now found this delightful series and has started to re-play all 4 of them. It has now got me in the mood to relive my life as Guybrush Threepwood, pirate wannabe extraordinaire.

I'm sure there has to be at least one other person out there that remembers this series and cracks a smile when I mention it. So, why not enjoy it's adventures all over again?

In the wonderful and wasteful world of the internet, there is a website that is dedicated to this little, pirate game franchise. It is entitled none other than the World of Monkey Island. It has many different features all devoted to this silly game. Check it out if you are a fellow lover. Or even check it out if you've decided you'd like to waste a few minutes of your life. Shive me timbers!!!!

Friday, September 30, 2005

Good Bye Ads

I love getting comments. I even like getting comments from perfect strangers. What I really enjoy is getting comments that are actually relevent to my post. What I despise, is being greeted by 3 junk ads disguised as a comment. Man oh man, junk mail seems to have found it's way into every form of communication. Well, I've decided to add the word verification feature to my comments section. Hopefully, that will rid my blog of all useless junk once and for all. Fingers are crossed.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Weekend of the fantastical

Sometimes, one can find themselves taking things for granted. This summer, I basically got to see Emily whenever I wanted. If I was willing to walk about 27 steps then I'd probably be in her presence. It was good and I enjoyed it. I realized that I had myself the greatest girlfriend that a guy could ever ask for. I also just really grew accustomed to having her around. I appreciated her but I didn't realize what a blessing it was to have her living on the same property as me.

Now, I do.

The months of September will be remembered as the time I realized how great the summer actually was. How much a man can miss not seeing that special someone on a regular basis. Two weeks apart doesn't seem so bad until you realize that person was used to seeing the other every day. I have and will survive. It has made me really appreciate and enjoy the time that I do have to spend with her. One of the most lovely, beautiful, smart, fun people I've had the pleasure of being in my life.

All this mushy talk to say, this past weekend was a pure joy. It was really great to be able to spend a whole weekend with her. Even if it meant I had to go through the firing squad known as her extended family. Actually, they ended up being really friendly and outgoing. They definitely asked the questions to figure out if I was worth the time of their neice. I can't blame them, she is a good one and deserves a quality guy.

I got to enjoy a fabulous banquet dinner on Saturday. Wow, do I love the Chinese food. Though it could be Thai or Japanese or Korean and I wouldn't know the difference. Other then, the family was using a book that was entitled 'Chinese Cuisine' (actually, I don't think that was the actual title but you get the point). I had to rush through the food because Emily had a big surprise to reveal.

We went to see a play at the Harbourfront Centre. I really enjoyed the theatre. It was small and intimate. Not a bad seat in the house. The play wasn't anything super special. But the company sure was. I definitely appreciated the surprise and gift. We then went for a nice stroll down the boardwalk and Music Garden. All in all, a rather pleasurable evening.

I realize talking about my weekend is sort of against my normal way of blogging. I usually rather talk about the newest toothpaste flavour or how reality television is decaying soceity. Not today. Today, I decided to brag about how great it was to have somebody really awesome in my life. Also admit that I know now how spoiled I was this summer. Now, I'm going to make sure to treasure every time I have with my 'special' friend.

To all my other great friends that I rarely see, you are missed. Thank you for all the great times and memories.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Service with a smile

Three summers ago, I was having a conversation with a Medeba board member regarding how the camp would be able to get continually returning staff. He wanted to know what Medeba had to do to get truly quality staff. Staff that was willing to exceed all expectations and really give the campers an once in a lifetime experience. Then get those same staff members to come back to Medeba for an extended time period. My answer was simply that you needed the staff to see Medeba as theirs. It had to be their place. A place that they deepily cared about. A place that they wanted to see grow and improve. A place that would truly impact many and many young people. Most of all, a place that the staff truly felt apart of and very connected to. Of course, since this was a conversation invovling me, it probably took about 3 hours to express. To this day, I still feel the best way to get quality staff is for the staff to really care about where they are working and for them, to feel an ownership of the place they are employed.

You have so many people that do a job just for a pay cheque. Often it will show in the type of service you get from such a place. A 16 year old kid who'll not smile and probably mumble while directing you to the coffee beans. Of course, you had asked him where the fried pickles were but he doesn't seem to have noticed. Or you're greeted by a zombie, on the other end of the register, that stares at the wall for 27 seconds before realizing you'd like to make an order. They then mix up your order about 5 times and don't think an apology is necessary for any. It's a little noticeable these people don't want to be there. Their only inspiration to improve is that they might not be yelled at by their supervisor if they work harder.

Basically, it comes down to two ways to get an employee to reach their potential. You have a job that motivates you to worker harder because if you do, then they'll be taking home more cash. That is why you get the smiling waiteress and the speedy service. Same reason, it seems the nice gentlemen wants you to find the best pair of runners possible. If you walk home happy or if you make a big purchase then they get some more moolah. It's a sound strategy but not all places of work are like that.

Option 2, is to make sure the employee cares about where they work. Or at least, like the job they are doing so they want to excell. The best way to do it is make work a happy environment. Make the staff feel they are a part of a team or even better, a family. I remember, dropping many different ideas to the board member on how to make Medeba staff feel this is the place for them. Put the staff in a position, where they want what is best for Medeba.

This idea seems so simple. Of all the jobs I've been at, Medebe was the only one that I felt a part of a team. I felt that I had support. I really wanted the best for the place. It's definitely an ideal that most bosses and owners seem to lack. They don't realize that the best way to improve business, is to improve things for the one's working there.

And that is my free advice to all wannabe business folks.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Thank you, Medeba

Those close to me know that I didn't absolutely adore my last position at Medeba. Actually, even those not so close, but possible loyal blog readers, had a pretty good idea that Guest Group Coordinator wasn't my dream position. I want to make it very clear that I still love the camp that is Medeba. I still believe in what it stands for. I consider all the Year Round staff to be close and dear friends. I decided that now that I'm no longer a Medebite that I should put together a little tribute. Tonight, I will list, in a very random order, many of the good things that came out of my year long run as Guest Group Coordinator.

Opportunity to enjoy another year of roommating with the man, the myth, the legend Scott 'Pueller' Martin

Joanne hugs

Fries dates with Pamela

Having visits from the old posse comprised of T-Bone, Hohickey, Angry Mike, Stump & Jared (one of these names doesn't belong)

Having visits from amazing former Medeba staff like Kegal, N8, Katy, Moi, Doralee, Blitz, Lizzy B, Justina and a bunch of other great folks that my lousy memory won't let me remember

Experiencing the vision and passion that Steve Archibald has for Medeba

The wit and sarcasm of Michael

Realizing that I'm 100 times more oraganized then 99.9% of all Youth Pastors in this province (ha, take that my former high school teachers! I'm not the most disorganized man in the world!!!)

Getting to know another year's LDP

Being blessed with the most amazing girlfriend in the universe, Emily (yeah, I'm a sap)

Realizing Ken is one of the funniest and kindest men this world will ever know

Staying over night with the lovely and endearing Baines (Andrew & Pip)

Getting to hear many great testimonies from several Pastors (I mock them but they truly are amazing people to give it all up for God)

Getting the inspiration to pursue a career as a teacher

Hearing Mandy's interpretion of how racoons sound

Finally, getting to know Bruce after coming to this camp for 9 years

Getting to go to Bon Echo (wow, what a gorgeous place and some really fun climbing)

Learning some new office skills because truth is, as evil as the building is, it's a valuable skill to be able to work in one

Realizing Glenda may be the real 'Director' of Medeba

Waking up every morning to a gorgeous outdoors environment

Rock climbing, paddling, and biking whenever I wanted

Being able to spend another year at a camp that will always have a piece of my heart

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Denouncing Retirement

I haven't quit blogging. I intend on keep on doing this thing for a very long time. Since I'll be unemployed soon, I'll have lots of time to do this blogging. Since I won't be very busy, I'll have lots of time to think and ponder and come up with odd rants. Yes it's true, my Medeba run is very close to the end. 2 days to the end to be exact. I'm looking forward to moving on but I'll miss the people here. I love the people here. I just didn't love fishing female products out of the toilet and trying to understand the mind of youth pastors. Strange creatures those youth worker folks. I won't miss a single phone chat with them. Well, unless the youth pastor's name is T-bone. That guys has it going on.

So yeah, this is another cop out post. I thought, a month was long enough to keep you waiting to hear if I still lived. Yes, I was able to survive the Asian Invasion of 2005 (a retreat week of several Asian churches). Now, I'm preparing to pass the Guest group torch over to a new sucker. . . er. . . person. But first, now is the time on the sprockets where we dance!!! Hmmm. . . wonder if anyone got that reference. One big pat on the back for the first to know it.

Now, is the time where I end this blog. I'm hoping the next entry won't be dated some time next June. I'm sure you all are too.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Sometimes a 'grand mural'is nothing more then a tiny picture of a house.

Buttons do leave holes in your shirt.

Puppets could talk about the benefit of pie graphs and still make children giggle.

I really, really, really, really, really have missed working with the kidlings.

A good Bible Story Time can be prepared 3 minutes before show time.

I procrastinate.

Running is so much more fun with the appropriate foot wear (not dress shoes).

You really begin to realize how much somebody means to you when they aren't near you.

Coporate America is a cash glutton.

Ultimate Collector Special Edition DVDs is another phrase for 'a whole lot of useless crap attached to a movie you never really wanted to watch anyway'.

Man, I miss Emily.

'Jambo' is Swahili for 'hello'.

This is my lame attempt to make up for not blogging for over a week.

Did it work?

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Rotten Tomatoes

Planning on going to see a movie this evening? Not sure what is worth your hard earned $10.00s? Do you not trust the views of a lone critic? Do you wish there was a site that would compile several critic's opinions? Maybe even give the film a percetange based off all the reviews? Do you wish I'd stopped asking these questions and instead gave you an answer. Fine, I will. There is such a site and I've used it a few times before picking a movie for the evening. Rotten Tomatoes is a web site that does compile several articles by renowned critics. The site forms a percentage based off all the good and bad opinions. It's a good site, so be sure to check it out. Even if you don't really enjoy tomatoes. Though I still think there isn't much that can beat a fresh, toasted tomato sandwich. That really has nothing to with movies. Mmmmm. . . could I ever go for one now. But I'm off topic, so I'll leave you with the link now.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Midnight Madness: The Cottager Invasion

The annual Haliburton Midnight Madness went down last night. It's apparently one of the really big events of the summer up here in Cottage Country. All the stores in Haliburton are supposed to slash their prices and offer really great deals on merchandise. The main street gets closed off and vendors sell things from there. It's a definite tourist type of thing and it gets heavily hyped around here. Most years I've never been able to see what all the hoopla is about because I've been working Friday night at Medeba. The two times that I have gone it has been later in the evening and all the commotion has died down. I never understood what the big deal was. According to others, I just came too late to see the really good stuff such as the live bands on the streets and the fun festivities. Well, this year I arrived to Haliburton at around 8:30pm. I'll go on record to say that I still don't get it. The place is packed and you will never see little Haliburton anymore bustling. It's a large sea of cottagers infesting the streets of this quaint town. There wasn't anything exciting happening other then lots of vendors making use of the closed off streets. There was no live bands. The only festivties that I saw was a bunch of elderly couples doing a folk dance (or some kind of dance). The most amusing part about the dance was the guy who was barking out over the loud speakers what move to do next. As for the deals, I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. You could buy 4 bag of chips for 5 dollars but I was less motivated to do that due to the kid screaming at everyone to buy his chips. He sent some serious hate vibes and I feared they may have contiminated the chips. Needless to say, I found myself fairly bored after about 22 minutes and I was ready to go somewhere with less congestion of Cottage Folks.

I'd still say it was a good night. I got to spend some quality time with the marvelous Katy and fantastic Molly. Then we all made a stop at the Baine residence which is always a magnificent experience. It was a good time. I'm pretty sure I am ready to opt out of the madness for next year.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Going the distance

I come to you today a very sore man. I just did my upper body work out today and my muscles are letting me know that they definitely exist. I've been working out consistently for about 2 weeks now (Emily would know if I'm totally lying about this or telling the truth, then again she wouldn't remember anyway). I do my upper body on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I run about 5 k and work on my legs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I stick with tradition by having Sunday as my rest day. I'm not addressing this topic in an effort to make you all think I am Mr. Fitness. I'm actually probably much closer to Mr. Strawberry Filled Donut. I'm addressing this because I've come to a conclusion today. I push myself and work much harder when I'm doing it with somebody else. I am at my best when I have somebody who is coaching me along and telling me to push to my limits. Unfortunately, when circumstance has me working out alone I find myself much more prone to not push myself very hard or end my work out much earlier. Yes, ladies and gentlemen I am blogging about . . . (spiff dandy drum roll)


My question for the day, is discipline something that can be learned? Or is discipline an attribute that a person is born with (like being an extrovert)? Or is it a quality that is acquired through parents ingraining a sense of discipline into a young child? Can a 27 year old slacker gain the gift of discipline? The only way I can think of gaining something like discipline is to well, being disciplined about it. Is the conundrum being realized here? How does one gain discipline? You could have somebody who is your accountability or coach that pushes you but what happens once they have disappeared off to Never Never Land or Podunk, Idaho? If you needed them to push you then will you still have the desire when they aren't there? Or after the pushing from a friend, would a person be more motivated and disciplined?

I guess, it wasn't so much a question of the day but rather, the questions of one topic for the day. Yet another example of me being a very windy young man. Or maybe I would have been able to keep it to one question if I was more disciplined?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Busy, Busy

'I've been really busy this week.'

How many times have you heard that phrase or one that is eerily similar. It's probably a greeting as common as 'Good Morning', "Hello', or 'Where are my pants?' Okay, maybe it's not as common as the 3rd phrase especially if you are a guy who tends to have your clothing sneak away from you at night. The fact is, declaring one's busyness is a very common practice. It's like a verbal badge that people like to show off proudly. Make it obvious that they are making use of their time. So much use that they don't have anymore time. They are busy. Busy enough that they weren't able to spend any time with their friends. It's almost as if one would be worthless if they weren't able to tell you how busy they are.

Is this a good thing? When did busy become something so desired? Why does someone need to tell everyone how oh so busy they have become? Is there a fear that people will think less of them? Or is it an excuse because they feel important things have been neglected? For example just spending some time with the people they care about.

During LDP, we took a class called 'Life Management'. I remember, Bruce talking about how it appears everyone wants others to think they are busy. Being busy makes you sound important. Being busy allows to get away from doing certian things because 'you're too busy.' I remember, Bruce challenged use to not tell people how busy you were. To not allow the word busy to sneak into your conversation. Because the word really does become an excuse. Or at least, some distorted badge of honour. Instead, actually talk to people about other things that don't pertain to your crazy busy life. At the same time, try to find some balance in your life so you aren't so 'busy.'

I told myself that from that point on that I wouldn't mention how busy I was and I would leave out giving people excuses. Nobody really wants to hear it. I know, I've probably failed on many occasions. It's something that I try to remain aware of. Not to use the word 'busy' as an excuse or a badge of honor. To instead, try to keep a positive attitude. Maybe actually talk about the good things that are going on in my life. Of course, it's my friends that can be the true judge of if I've even come close to pulling this off.

I want to encourage you all to have a fantastic summer and to really try to enjoy it. Not to be 'too busy'.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Weekend of Awesome

You ever have one of those weekends where you say, "I would do that all over again and love every single minute of it!' If you have, then you sort of have an idea of exactly how I felt once my weekend concluded. It will definitely make it on the 'Best Weekends of '05' list and maybe even challenge for 'Top 23 Weekends of This Decade'. Though I'm now probably totally exaggerating. It was a weekend to remember. I got to introduce my wonderful family to my marvelous girlfriend. Best part of that scenario, they both really got along great. It was one of those evenings where I realized what an amazing lady that I have in my life. Of course, the topper of that evening was I got to eat me some delicious steak. Oh yes, the good times were definitely in full effect. Sunday just kept up the goodness of the weekend. I got to spend even more time with that very amazing lady of my life. My apartment (much thanks to her) may actually be able to be called clean. I got to enjoy her very fantastical cooking. I then, got to body slam her off a trampoline into the water. Do weekends really get better than this? Of course, weekends come to an end and the work week awaits my full attention. I'm back explaining to Youth Pastors that they can't book a group of 120 in July when we are a Summer Camp. I have hope that another blessed weekend will soon be back to do my soul good.

Speaking of this past weekend, I want to send my heartfelt congratulations to the brand new Shawn & Tara Erb. I wish you both an absolutely great life together.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Tour of Frank

There is a big cycling race going on right now. There are a few people at camp that make a really big deal out of it. To some, this is the event of the year. I really don't get the excitement of watching some guys in spandex bike for several days. It sounds like something that I'd rather do then watch. Of course, if I did it I'd die after the first few hours but then again, that sounds like a less painful event then having to watch this thing.

I personally think there is a more important touring extravaganza hitting the world by storm. The very prestigious 'Tour of Frank'. First plus side, it is in English rather then French. That is only a plus side because I'm English speaking and I'm very self centred. Second plus side, it invovles some guy named Frank. Who doesn't love guys named Frank? Come on, I dare one person to raise their hand. I had this friend back in grade school whose name was Frankie. We used to ride our bikes all over the city(ha, I was able to do it as a child). We'd buy 'Big Chew' and stuff it all in our mouths until we choked. Usually we'd wrestle in his basement until we both cried. Then, we'd do belly flops into his pool though we tried to call them dives. Oh Frankie, what great times we had. Though I'm still a little bitter about that time he pushed me off his skateboard because he didn't want me to show him up in front of the new girl. The last laugh was on him because girls dig scars. I had one nasty scrape which isn't really a scar. I'm pretty sure she digged it even if she never talked to me. Despite that, I still love Frankie. Frankie is a longer way to say Frank. Proof that Frank is really cool. We all need a good Tour of Frank.

So, what does this tour consist of? Well, that is the glory of it all. It can consist of whatever you want or need. It just needs to involve some guy named Frank. Or it could be a girl too. I don't know too many that like to be called Frank. More seem to prefer Francine. Though there was that girl called Frankie in the movie 'Frankie & Johnny'. Or maybe the girl's name was Johnny? But that doesn't make sense. I'm not going to bother watching the movie to find out which one is the girl. Then again, you never know when the viewing of a chick flick will sneak up on you. During LDP, I must have watch at least half a dozen. Wow, what a great way to spend your year. I still can't believe I must admit that I've seen a film starring Hillary Duff. Ew. I might almost have to turn my Manly Man Card back in. For shame.

Anyway, Tour of Frank. Be a part of it. You'll never forget it. Oh, and don't push your friend off a skateboard just because he's showing off to a girl. That's mean.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Dishing out the dirt

I'm going to go against usual protocol and actually write a blog pertaining to my personal life. I'm doing this because you the reader have demanded it! Or at least, guilt tripped me about not letting all of you know about my most recent relationship. Now sit back and enjoy a yarn about two crazy kids from a camp named Medeba.

Boy meets girl. Boy thinks girl is real pretty. Girl thinks boy is kind of wierd. Boy talks to girl and girl probably still finds boy sort of wierd. Boy and girl continue to talk and realize they get along really well. Girl still thinks boy is pretty wierd. The author of this blog now decides to fast forward several months. Boy and girl are really good friends and they really enjoy their time together. Or in the girl's case, a really wierd friend. Then a random day in June happend that forever changed the relationship of boy and girl (was that dramatic enough for you?)

Okay, so I've sort of got bored with the boy and girl schtick. I think, we both know who boy and girl are. Katie & Tom. No wait, we're talking about a couple that you guys actually want to hear about and not some washed up actor robbing the cradle. Chris (that's me) & Emily. Anyway, back to the story. So, in June the two of us were hosting together and no, I didn't schedule that on purpose. Shock of all shocks, we got along really well. Really really well. Well enough that when we weren't hosting anymore I found myself missing her. Meal times started to be my favourite time because it meant she would be in the dining hall. Yeah, I'm a sap but that shouldn't be any new knowledge.

June 12th was the official day that I decided to man it up and let her know how I felt. Except I apparently didn't do it in a very manly way. My left foot did a very good job of digging a ditch and my right hand did a good job of peeling off the bark. I was a little nervous but Emily was entertained with my fiddling. It probably didn't help that when she was about to let me know how she felt, a Frenchman chose that time to talk to us for about 45 minutes (though it felt like many agonizing hours). I finally got my answer and I'm pretty sure all of you know what it was. If you don't then you obviously weren't one of the people that were begging me for the details of my new dating life.

Beware some sappy content may be contained: I am in very deep like. I get along with Emily very well. I consider her one of my very closest friends. She is most definitely one of the coolest, sweetest and smartest people I've been blessed to get to know. I look forward to getting to know more about her and to grow closer to her as a friend. Because of her, I learned that it is entirely possible to talk to someone for 6 hours straight and then be able to talk to that same person for another 6 hours the next day. Anyone who knows me knows that being able to carry a conversation is a key ingredient. There you go, I found myself a really amazing girl and I'm very happy to be with her. Hopefully, that's enough info to keep the pleading and guilting down to a miminum. Because I am not going to turn this blog into the blow by blow account of the Emily and Spicer relationship. I'm going to keep that stuff for the paperback.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Return of the 1 Word Reviews!!!

I don't even know if my last 1 word review blog was a rousing success or a very muddled mess. I enjoy the challenge of trying to review a film or book by only being able to use 1 single word. So, I'm doing it again and hopefully, you all remember to buckle in while you enjoy this ride.

Cedar Point (amusement park): Wow
The Night of the Living Dead (movie): Huh?
Mr & Mrs. Smith (movie): Fun-a-rific
Bon Echo(June trip): Reenergizing
Summer Camp (this year): Different
Revenge of the Sith (movie): Redeeming
Tristan Betrayal (book): Spy-a-licious
Brought in Dead (book): Anti-climatic
Heat (what I feel outside): Unwelcomed

So yeah, I probably find this lot more fun to do then it is to actually read. I blame the lack of wit this time on the weather. Maybe the gnats too because I'm sort of sick of them flying into my ears. Or I could blame it on the fact that it has been over a month since I last blogged. I am a mite rusty. No excuses though. I've just been decidely more distracted over this last month then I have in a rather long time. I'll accept this distraction over the 'oh my there is 120 people on site and I don't even remember my name' type distractions of the past. Yes, this one is far more sweet and enjoyable. Are you loving the vagueness? Good. Because that's all you get tonight. I'm hoping for this to return to being a semi-daily routine. Until next time, remember only clowns can fit 250 in a volkswagon so don't try it at home or uh, your driveway.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Sounds Like An Excuse

I actually planned to give you all a nice heaping of bloggerdom over the last two days. Except the good ol' Medeba Server had completely different plans and decided to knock out the internet for two days. Thus my newfound aspirations of blogging went the way of the dodo bird. Except I don't really know what way that was? I do know that the world wide web decided to take a vacation from Medeba and left me with no hope of starting up a blogging streak. Now, believe it or not but this blog isn't about my excuse for a 2 day absence but rather, for an upcoming 4 days absence. It just so happens, 3 straight weeks of work earns a man a small vacation. I've decided to treat myself to a rather splendid climbing trip to Bon Echo with the ever lovely gang of LDPs. Last I heard, the great outdoors doesn't have internet access quite yet. I'll be redisappearing for another 4 days. Want to know the truth? I don't even feel a little twinge of guilt. I look very much forward to 4 days of no office, no groups and no work. If I have stories of fun then I promises to share.

Before I depart, let me leave you all with this little pearl of wisdom. If you've ever been a fan of Star Wars then do yourself a favour and watch the Revenge of the Sith. Definitely will go down as one of the truly great Star Wars movies. If I was in the city, I'd have seen it 4 times by now. Instead, I think I'll just get Scott to renact the movie for me before I head to bed. I'll provide a bigger review next week when I get back (of the actual movie not Scott's performance).

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Workaholic Anonymous

It's been a little while since I last posted. This one isn't going to be anything of delight or excitement. I thought, I should let the world know that I am still breathing. Though I'm not sure if I can be considered to have life. I've been working non stop for about 3 weeks now and a 15 hour day of work seems to be the norm. So, I really haven't had much time or desire to do much else. Plus my body decided things weren't crazy enough and it got itself rather sick about a week and a half ago. I'd say I'm slowly beginning to recover from that. The room doesn't spin anymore and the soreness is all gone. I'm all for the lack of pain since I'm a giant wuss. The downside is that sickness caused me to give up my Star Wars ticket which means I'm still needing to see the film. Please, absolutely no spoilers unless you want to be on my naughty list for Christmas. Hopefully, the Star Wars issue will be resolved this Tuesday. While the work issue should be much better by the end of June. I'm looking forward to many owed days off. As for when I'll start regularly blogging??? I ain't promising anything long term.

On a quick aside, my one year anniversary of blogging has come and passed. I was planning on doing a special post to commemorate the date but then, I stopped blogging for a few weeks. I'll probably not even bother now. If it makes you feel better, I don't actually know what I would have done anyway. Now, that I've proven I'm alive it's about time to try this thing called sleep. I hear, it's great for energy restoration.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Bring On The Star Wars Hype!!!

It's coming folks. A little more then a week away and we will all have the opportunity for the ultimate movie experience. It's the final film in the most popular and classic space fantasy film series of all time. Ignore the fact there really isn't any others. But next Thursday, Star Wars Episode 3: The Revenge of the Sith is upon us. Even though the last two were slightly disappointing (I still liked them), I am in total geek out mode for the chance to see this movie. I'm giddier then a school girl right before her Prom where she is about to be picked up by Studly Dean Sporto. Oh Dean, you are so dreamy. Enough about Dean because it is all about the goodness that will be Star Wars!!!! Bring on the hype. Check out the official web site that has lots of fun stuff for the Star Wars geek in all of you. Click right. . .. here!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Happy Mother's Day

This post is dedicated to all the amazing women out there that have children. You cleaned our scrapes after we fell off our bikes. You wiped our noses when we let them run too far. You tucked us in at night and read us stories that encouraged us to dream and hope. You cooked us our favourite meal 3 nights in a row just because we kept on asking. You made sure we made it to swimming lessons even though they started at 6 in the morning on a Saturday. Our clothes were always clean because you made sure of that. Most of all, you loved us no matter how much of a brat we were. You probably did a lot of stuff when we were kids too.

This day is for the Mothers of the world. We all appreciate you very much. Even if most of us have a really lousy way of showing it. We love you. I especially love all my many mothers. I appreciate my camp moms who are Joanne Pyl and Pamela Bryant. And all my many adopted moms over the years. The kind ladies that looked after me just because they wanted to.

Most of all, I dedicate this blog to the absolutely wonderful and amazing lady that gave birth to me. The lady who has declared I am her favouritest oldest son. The outstanding women who has and always will love me. My first and favourite mom. Linda Spicer. Or better known to me as mum. I love you, Mum. I thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful women in my life.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Kingdom of Heaven

I watched the major motion picture epic 'Kingdom of Heaven' last night. It was the signifier that the 'summer blockbuster season' is about to be kicked off. The movie was all about providing the ultimate movie experience and doing it all at a very big scale. I tend to enjoy these type of films. Who doesn't like a good war with swords and arrows? I usually am a big fan of films not based in this era and contains some big massive monumental struggle. I would have to say that the 'Crusades' is a pretty good period to pick when you want some struggling.

The quick plot synopsis for people who have never heard of this film. A blacksmith goes through a major tragedy back in the village he lives in. His father arrives out of nowhere to encourage him to come to Jeruseleum to protect the city from possible seige. The son eventually comes even though it isn't something he really feels called to do. As luck would have it, his dad bites the bullet rather quickly (except the bullet would be an arrow since we don't really have lots of bullets during the crusades). His father's dying wish is that his son protects the King of Jeruseleum. Thus we've got our major plot of the film. Of course, you've got your romantic sub plot and lots of fun sword slashing. The film has the black smith evolve his character over time which is expected in a film like this. The character development is rather predictable.

It's a pretty by the number 'epic historical drama' type movie. The visuals are fanastic. The battles are fun to watch. It might not be anything too earth shattering but it's a fun 2 hours to waste. I wouldn't rank in the caliber of a 'Braveheart' but it fits nicely with the 'Troy' type. Nothing I'd ever rush to see again but it was fun while it lasted.

The movie did inspire me to find more out about the Crusades. I'd love to check out any books on the subject if any of you have any recommendations. I would like to find out if there really was a notable sect of Englishmen that where opposed to the slaughtering/conversion of the Muslims. Isn't that a nice thought to end a blog with?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

On This Special Episode Of Full House

I'm watching 'Full House' because I just can't get enough of it's riveting plot and complex character development. I mean, what inane thing will Uncle Joey grace us with this week with his comic genius! Or when will Michelle say 'You got it, dude' again? That stuff never gets old. Then you have the always unpredictable ending of the sappy music in the background and all of life's problems being solved in a nice 30 minute block. Oh Bob Saget, your wisdom truly saves us all.

But then, today's episode took a rare twist. Daddy Bob is about to tell DJ how much he loves her and it doesn't matter that Jockey Jim doesn't like her. And then, all of a sudden the house was attacked by ninjas! I was like 'When does that ever happen!?!' Yet there was a ninja kicking poor DJ right through a wall. Ninjas burning the shrine of Elvis that poor Uncle Jesse spent years creating. It was awful. These ninjas and the destructions they were causing. Daddy Saget couldn't do a thing because he was being hung by the fan by a pair of nunchucks. Who would rescue the Full House Gang?

The A-Team!!!!!

Wow, and I thought they were doomed to rerun form by that point. Yet there they were kicking the ever loving grease out of some nasty ninjas. I think, Kimmy Gibbler got in a few shots on the ninjas too. The ninjas retreated and the A-Team totally rocked it with the Full House family. Instead of the cheesy sappy music we ended with Hannibal saying, 'I love it when a plan comes together!'

What an odd episode of Full House.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Things That Make My Heart-a-Glad

I just ripped off someone else's little fun word combo. I am a hack and an evil, evil man. 'Heart-a-glad' is not something I came up with. But the first time I read this word combo (which was two days ago) it tickled me in the right place. I had a smile that lasted until I found a new thing to smile about(probably something shiny). Um, that wasn't witty at all?!? Are you guys going to put up with such awfully uncreative writing? I stole another person's word combo and then typed out bland sentences. Well, you will put up with this. Or you will not read this blog. That's right, I am putting down my foot. Anyway, I stole the words because they make me happy. So there. Out of respect for the person I thieved, I will use them no longer in this post. I promise because I wouldn't want to make your heart-a-mad. Okay, now I stop stealing for serious.

What things are making me happy??? Well, where do I begin? How about right here:

Well, actually right underneath this sentence. Ready? Set. GO!

I am now not the only person who is on Medeba property. Samantha Young is my new camp buddy. We drink tea and we laugh. Thus I am a happy person.

The group didn't make the camp explode. Thus my body didn't self destruct. Not self destructing makes me rather happy.

I didn't work today. Do you need an explanation for happiness?

I may have recruited 3 more people to work here this summer. YIPPEE!!!!!

This summer, I can actually take 'vacations'. I might get to be on my first summer road trip in eons. Or also known as, before I was 18 years old.

I found buried treasure. Okay, I didn't really but if I did, wouldn't I just be the happiest?

Maybe I wouldn't? Because money doesn't buy happiness.

Though, I hear that gold does. So there.

People notice when I don't blog. Got to love the gluttony my ego gets.

I've got lots of Mac & Cheese. It's magic in my tummy.

I just heard Changes by Tupac. Okay, I heard it 5 hours ago but I still got that groove in my head.

I watched lots of Homestar Runner. Enough said. Except for all the words I'll type after this.

My awful memory prevents me from remembering anything that I didn't like today. Thus I feel it was the perfect day. Yeah for lack of brain power!

I talked to a dear friend today that I rarely ever talk to. Katy, you rock.

I'm happy that these 'list' blogs are the easiest things in the universe to do. Yeah for laziness!!!!

With that, I end before you realize you've been ripped off.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Chris Candito: You Will Be Missed

Last night, Chris Candito passed away at the age of 33 years old. I'm sure most of you don't know who exactly Chris Candito is. He was a very accomplished and entertaining professional wrestler. I was a rather big fan of his. He wasn't the largest of wrestlers and was actually under 6 feet. What he lacked in size he made up in with desire, talent and charisma. He was a man that was very passoinate about the industry of wrestling and he worked hard to excell at it.

Chris Candito was best known as Chris Candido (notice the 'd' replacing the 't') where he worked under that name in ECW and WCW (which were the rival promotions to WWF now WWE). He had a brief 2 year stint in WWF as Skip the Bodydonna. Basically, his gimmick was that he was a exercise instructor that mocked the fans for being out of shape. He would do lots of push ups and jumping jacks in the ring to mock his foe. The gimmick was stupid but he was able to put on really good matches. Plus as I said before, he had a charisma that was able to still make the lame gimmick work. He also had his girlfriend, Tammy Fytch who played the role of Sunny. Unfortunately, I think Skip is more known for his lady friend then for his amazing talent.

Skip was underappreciated by the WWF and he eventually left the promotion for ECW. Where he dropped the dumb gimmick and became 'No Gimmick Needed' Chris Candido. He became a successful upper card performer. Now, a lot of wrestling fans may not think Candido was a big contributor to wrestling but he can lay claim to holding a title in all three of what used to be the big promotions (WCW & ECW are out of business now). He is a former WWF Tag Team champion, ECW Tag Team Champion and WCW Cruiserweight champion. He was almost always a very entertaining addition to a wrestling show.

Unfortunately, like many wrestlers, Candido and his girlfriend Tammy started to struggle with drugs in '99. Their life seemed to hit the rock bottom. Neither would be hired by the major companies anymore due to their struggles. Candido's last big shot was in 2000 in WCW where he was fired for a neck injury. Poor Candido really dropped farther in the gutter.

Then 18 months ago, Candido cleaned up his act and started to refocus on wrestling. He was honest about his past and focused on being his best again. He got his passion back for the business. Candido was hired by TNA (WWE's new wannabe rival but not near as big as WCW was). Where Candido seemed to be in the best shape of his life. He started to become a major contributor. Just recently, there was rumours that WWF was interested in rehiring him again. Candido had a chance to make it back to the big time.

I followed Candido for most of his career. I always really enjoyed his work. I remember really feeling sympathy when he had his struggle with drugs. I had always hoped he would turn around his life. He did. I couldn't have been more excited because he might finally have got the big shot he deserved.

This last Sunday, he seriously broke his ankle during a wrestling match. He then had emergency surgery the next day. Candido seemed to be in high spirits and confident he would be back in action in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, there is rumours the surgery didn't go as well as hoped. Candido either got a blood clout or a staph infection. This may have been the cause of his death.

So, now Chris Candito (or Candido) is no longer here to entertain. I pass my dearest sympathies on to his family and friends. I was just a fan. They are suffering a much greater loss. I will still miss him.

This is another tragedy in the wrestling world. A place where wrestlers often die before they reach 40. It's a scary business. So many wrestling stars who pass away so much sooner then they should. I know so many wrestlers I watched growing up that are now passed on. So many guys who are probably only 10 years older then me that don't have any more days left.

I end this blog thanking the wrestler Chris Candido for the memories. Maybe I'll do a few jumping jacks in your honour before I sleep tonight. Bye Skip.

Chris Candido: 1972 - 2005

T-Bone, This One Is For You!

You would think that living in Central Ontario (aka land of the wild) that my #1 animal concern would be bears. You would be wrong. We do have bears but these mild carnivores are nothing to be feared compared to another vile creature. An animal that is far more fearsome and deadly. The rabid Llama. I know what you must be thinking, do you even have llamas up there? Or how dangerous could a rapid herbivore truly be? I answer with the question, does anyone think of the grass and the leaves? The destruction that these wild monsters conjure up is devastating. Imagine the grass is shortened before we have a chance to mow it. The fallen leaves we would have had to rake are now devoured. Will there be any lawn care work left for us to do? Must the beast leave us with a perfectly maintained property! And what if I am wearing grass pants? Can you imagine the danger I would be in? I would need to get another pair of pants! Which might not be too hard since I live on property. Plus I don't own grass pants. But IMAGINE!!!

I notice, I didn't addres the question about if llamas actually live up here. Well, they don't. But we do have moose. They tend to not maintain our lawns as well. Oh boy, watch out for those rabid llamas!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Escaping The Past

Fact: I wasn't a very good high school student.

Fact: I once wrote a poem about my feelings towards a girl rather then do a English Poetry Exam because I was bored with the exam.

Fact: I could be found at Tim Horton's more then I could be found at my Economics class.

Fact: I've been out of high school over 8 years!

Fact: People from my home town sometimes still think I am 18.

How do you escape your past? How does one get away from the impressions he/she imprinted in people's mind? How do you truly convince them that you've changed? Is this my problem? These my friends, are questions I've been wrestling with ever since I escaped the city of Branford. A place where I have lots of great memories and friends but also, a lot of people that like to remind me of my flaws. Flaws that I like to try to keep behind me where they belong.

It's a sign of the evilness of labelling someone and not let them deivate from that. Put someone in a box and expect them to always remain that mold. Yes, I am heaping on the cliches. I also realize that I am blessed with friends that do allow me to change. Do allow me to grow up and try to improve myself. In the end, I shouldn't really let the doubters dictate who I am.

What I should do, is really make sure I don't turn out to be a hypocrite. I don't convince myself that a person can never change. Or believe they will always have the same flaws. Rather realize that people can rise above adversity. They can learn from mistakes. I know that because I am not the same person I was at 18 years old. Though I may still be cursed with the same fashion sense but that is another a tale.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Go Homestar, Go!!!

If you've got Video Flash Player or whatever it is that plays cartoons and such on the internet (aren't you amazed by my technical prowess?) then here is the ultimate website to waste time on. I've lost countless hours of my life on this website and it has to be one of the funniest things out there. Who needs cable when you got Homestar Runner?

So, go to Homestar. Go!

Monday, April 25, 2005

Sky Is The Limit

Here are occupations that I once had ambitions of pursuing. Please note, for most I was under the age of 10.

Cowboy: Not a rancher though. I wanted to ride horses, yes. But I also wanted to have shoot outs at high noon. I definitely wanted to wear the 10 gallon cowboy hat. Though, I don't think they actually held 10 gallons.

Astronaut: Though, not so much of the scientist variety. I would have much rather flown to Tatooine or Hoth. Probably would have rather flown the Millennium Falcon and have a Wookie as my co-pilot. If you didn't get any of these references then I'm shaking my head at you. Mainly because it's obvious I am a much bigger geek than you.

Indiana Jones: Once again, I definitely didn't want to be an archeologist or historian. More of someone that did uncover ancient remnants but I also had to be able to fight Nazis on the side. Though, I didn't really have too many of those on my neghbourhood block. Of course, I needed to do lots of running through jungles.

Clown: Though by age 6, they started to lose their appeal. Probably the nightmare of them wanting to tickle my toes didn't help that fact. Never been much of a fan of the tickling. Though for the record, I am hardly even ticklish. Ignore all who try to refute this.

Jedi: Unfortunately, I soon found out that the planet Earth doesn't seem to employ such a position. Probably why I wanted to be an astronaut.

Actor: This one was a desire for years and years. Mainly, because it seemed like you were being paid to play. The only unappealing part was that I had to follow another writer's script. I would have much rather made it up on the spot.

Writer/Journalist: Believe or not but the hyper little kid that 'never could sit still' actually did sometimes sit still. I usually was writing something during those odd times. To this day, my mommy has many notebooks of my writing as a kiddie. I sort of continued the writing until about. . . uh. . . now. I still sort of have a secret desire to actually make money from my lunacy (aka writings).

Anything Not Involved with School: Yes sir! Down with school. School is awful. No school for me. Keep me away from there. I never want to be part of school and its evil system. I was a horrid student who never put very much effort or desire into my work. Hand in assignments? Bah. Study for a test? Ha! Get good grades? Pish Posh. Who needs school!!!

My current career goal?


To be a high school teacher.

Yes, I know what irony is.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Random Thoughts of Randomness. . .

The perogies that have been hiding out in my freezer since I've moved in probably should have remained hiding.

A group always seems to be an absolute pleasure after a $20.00 tip.

Medeba needs more Men's retreats.

An Energon Tranformer isn't the same company as a real human.

I'm hoping an empty pop bottle and my wit will be enough to fend off the night trolls. They always like to visit when I'm alone.

Next 2 weeks, is a fantastic time for anyone who has a desire to visit.

I'm not the blogging iron man that I once was.

I'm already out of DVDs to watch with 13 more days of no company.

Messenger makes more sense, now.

I'm a procrastinator.

Taxes will be done tommorrow.

Um, not even sure if I am trying to make this witty or funny? Or just sort of typing things and hope I stumble upon some genius. Or I'm just typing things.

Probably just typing things.

Definition of irony: I spent 5 years desperately trying to get through and out of high school. I will now spend another 5 years trying to get back in.

For a big, manly man I've seen way too many girlie movies.

Wait! Why did you laugh when I called myself a manly man????

I may not be the definition of manly.

It is possible to absolutely hate somebody one night and to think he is the biggest jerk in the world; then, the next night realize he is so wonderful and talk to him on the phone for 3 hours.

3 hours would make for a hefty phone bill.

Don't worry, I wasn't the one who I was referring to in this scenerio. I don't talk to guys on the phone for 3 hours. I save those conversations for my mom. Uh. . . did I mention I was single?

Perfect porch drinking weather is wasted on not having a porch or living on an alchohol free property.

'Alchohol Free' doesn't mean I get drinks for free. Huh.

The most popular question to ask someone who you haven't seen in several years is, "Are you married yet?'

West Guilford doesn't boast a popular singles scene.

I'm choking on grape juice.

Actually, more like grape Kool -Aid.

I hope my tombstone doesn't read, 'A fool whose end was met by the cheapest of drinks.'

I think, I've seen every Julia Stiles movie out there. Not sure, I should admit to such a shame.

I actually, have to admit to liking one country song. Though I refuse to mention who it is by.

I think, I've allowed enough skeletons out of the closet for one blog.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Happy Birthday, Now I Will Kill You

Don't worry, if it's your birthday, I don't really have any intention of hunting you down for sport and then ending your life in a diabolical manner. I'm not in a killiong mood today, honest. Instead, I've been thinking about how our Leadership Development Program students like to celebrate each others birthdays. The philisophy is that if it's your birthday then you are somehow going to get wet. Wet while you are fully dressed. It could be by varied means from snow, the pond, bathtub, pool, waterguns or toilet. It runs quite the gamut of ways to make sure the birthday person is dripping wet and maybe a little humilated.

Thus, this leads to my thought of the day. Not a deep thought. Not a profound thought. More of thought of pondering and confusion. Why is it on specific special days for a person do others have the desire to pull a prank? Where is this need to emberass a person? It doesn't end with the cold inducing LDP Birthday fun but it can be found in other 'special' days too. For example, a Bachelor Party doesn't seem to go down unless the groom-to-be is painted to be a complete fool. Maybe he'll have some extra form of cream on his face? Or missing one of his eyebrows? Though, being that I am not yet married, I probably shouldn't provide too much ammunition for said day. To all my married guy friends, remember that I was fairly kind on your big days. Well, other then the kidnapping and armm tying and the whole bag over the head. I didn't use burlap!

Why? Why the need to throw some sort of wicked initiation at parties for the guest of honour? Does turning 23 really need some big test to see if they are worthy? Is the married guy really in the need of a piano dropped on him? I'll go on record saying that I really don't get it. Other then, maybe there is some deep down bitterness by the others invovled that they aren't getting older? Or is it the belief that the person doesn't deserve to have too much fun on this day? Paint me confused because it baffles me. I'm not saying it isn't fun. I am saying, when I do get married please don't lock me into a lion's cage.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Is This Considered A Bad Week???

Rather then booking new groups, during a time we desperately need them, I've successfully had two groups cancel.

I was almost murdered by an orange tarp.

Two people declared that I am indeed a fashion victim. Right before I was ready to open up my own Spring line.

Blogger decided to be moody and not post my last blog thus losing it forever and ever.

My current scenerio, for the next youth group that is coming in, has me hosting the group, belaying the climbers, doing high ropes and crying my eyes out alll at the same time.

I watched as the group of evil completely totalled the camp this weekend.

I didn't get to kick the group of evil in the shins.

In two days, I have an entire two weeks of the camp all to myself. You all know how much I adore living at camp spooky by my lonesome.

I wanted to punch a Youth Pastor in the face. Or at least, I would have liked to sneeze in his general direction. Jerk.

Trogdor burninated my village.

And that folks, is what I've decided is not my most favouritest week of all time. Probably not even top 50. Actually, I'd love a time machine so I can redo this week. Maybe slash the tires of the youth group's bus so they couldn't make it here? Hmmm. . . see what this week has done to me? Now, I'm becoming evil.

Friday, April 15, 2005

I'm A Dancer!!!

Big thanks to not so Big Tim, who made me aware of my true love. Apparently, I am a professional dancer and a pretty good one too. Don't believe me? Check it out here.

The Ultra Amazing One Word Reviews

The word on the street is that I am a very long winded fellow. My blogs can be really long. Today, I'm going to prove that I don't always have to be full of wind. I can be short and to the point. This blog is going to review a few books and films that I've enjoyed over the last month or so. But the catch is, I'm going to review each one by using only one word. Let the fun begin!

The Butterfly Effect: Twist-a-licious

Freddy vs. Jason: Brainless

Mean Girls: Why?

Diary of Bridget Jones: Sarcastical

Bleachers by John Grisham: Short

Deception Point by Dan Brown: triestoohardtobeunpredictabletothepointitspredictable

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen: Ashamed

You know what? I'm drawing a blank. I thought I had a lot more things to review. I blame it on being up way too early this morning and going to bed way too late. Oh well, at least I proved that I don't have to be long winded. Not that you can make sense of what I typed.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Wow, The Pasture Is Greener Over There!

A had a conversation with a friend (yes, I do have friends!) which was inspiration for today's blog'o'doom. The conversation was centred on two types of people. Both of these wonderful types have a little bit of lots of baggage heaped onto their back. They've been carrying that baggage around for a few years now and are finding themselves to be getting a might tired. They are getting so frustrated with the current baggage they have been lugging about that they secretly wish they could take the other person's problem. For whatever reason, the other person with the 500lb luggage seems to have got it better. Of course, both people are wrong and neither has it any easier. Both have them selves a nice heaping helping of unpleasant issues. It's an infamous case of the symbolic lawn always being greener on the other side of the equally symbolic fence. Have I used enough metephors, allusions and cliches yet? Good, now it's time to describe our two type of people.

Let's make the first one a boy. Let's call him Sven because that name makes me giggle. Plus it's really fun to say. Plus it looks like I've misspelled seven. Though I don't really know what good making you think I've misspelled seven does for this blog. Oh my boy, Sven. Anyway, Sven is an incredibly likeable fellow. He's got himself a solid heart of gold, a wicked cool sense of humour and he doesn't smell like raw salmon. I'd say that makes him quite the fellow. As with most non fish smelling folks, he does have himself a lot of good friends. He likes his friends and they just happen to like him back. What is the problem, you ask? Where is this wonderful man's poor issue? You see, Sven is frustrated with one little faucet of his life. He's got himself lots of friends but it seems 'friends' is the only relationship poor old Sven has got.

Now, friends aren't anything to sneeze at. Actually, I hear that sneezing at friends is a pretty good way to lose them. No one seems to like to catch colds anymore. Sven loves his friends and he is really appreciative of them. In Sven's mind, it seems whenever he wants to further a relationship with a female she would rather keep things exactly where they are. Friends. As this tale goes, Sven is really good at snagging the friends but not known to gain the elusive 'girlfriend.' In Sven's mind, he feels he may very well be doomed to wander the barren desert of loneliness for the rest of his life. As you can tell, Sven can be a little dramatic.

The issue arises because poor Sven believes that something must be inherently wrong with himself. His story goes like this: boy meets girls; boy and girl get to know each other really well; boy decides he would ever so like to date girls; boy decides it is time to 'woo' girl (isn't woo such a fun word???); alas, girls decides that things work much better as a friendship with boy. Boy cries and eats a bucket of peanut butter. Boy gets really sick because he's allergic to peanuts. Boy is rushed to hospital. Boy doesn't eat anymore peanut butter. By the way, boy is still Sven.

Poor Sven is now in self pity mode which is a horrible mode to be in. Sven decides it is his fault he doesn't have himself a wonderful women that wants to declare Sven is her boyfriend. That was an awful run-on sentence, eh? Sven starts to wonder what is inherently wrong with him. He starts to question, 'Do I actually really smell like raw dead salmon???? Do my looks shatter all the mirrors? Why oh why, am I so yucky!' Like I said, Sven is really dramatic. He also isn't so eloquent because he likes to use words like 'yucky'. Hey, he's a good guy and he really shouldn't believe these lies he's feeding himself. He definitely shouldn't think he'd rather be person type #2.

This person will be a girl. Her name will be Yvonne. You know, this is one of those names that I know exist but I never actually can pronounce it properly. It spells out to be a lovely name plus it seems to fit just nicely with my names spelled with a 'v' mottif. Anyway, as you guess our lovely Yvonne has some issues herself. Yvonne just happens to be a very beautiful girl, she is extremely friendly, she is blessed with the wit and she smells of lovely flowers. Yvonne is one swank little lady. Yet as this story goes, Yvonne doesn't think that is so true.

On a side note, this really turning out to be a long winded blog! I would love to blame it on not have been blogging for weeks and weeks but we are all know it's really because I'm full of wind. Anyway, Yvonne is getting frustrated that I'm ignoring her so let's put the attention back on her.

Yvonne has lots of friends too. Yvonne is quite the popular girl. Yet, as this story goes, Yvonne needs to have her slew of issues too. Her issue? She is able to date boys and not leave things at a friend level. To Sven, that would seem like a spit dandy of a deal, wouldn't it? Yvonne seems to go through boyfriends like the Cookie Monster goes through a bag of Chip Ahoy (I decided to avoid the fat kid through a box of Smarties analogy in order to not offend Smarties). It always seems that there is some drooling boy out there that wants to date her. It's not too hard for her to be able to get a boyfriend to escort her to the Semi-formal Spring Fling Thing Dance Groove Banquetfest. The problem arises, she doesn't ever seem to be able to have a boy as a friend. No space between boy and friend but always a boyfriend. She wonders why she can't have friends. Why can't a boy just enjoy her company? Is her personality one that isn't able to create a lasting friendship? Do guys only enjoy her company because her smell remind them of pretty meadow and she is all kinds of beautiful? Thus poor Yvonne has herself a heaping of the issues. She fears she can be seen as a possesion just like a X-Box except she doesn't need to be plugged into the wall. She wishes she could be a little more like Sven.

Thus the case of the pasture always be greener on the other side. Our poor protaganists feel there issues are worse then any other. They wish they could be somebody else or have a different personality. The dangerous little secret is that we all have issues. We all seem to have things that bother or plague us. The real factor is that Sven & Yvonne can't beat themselve up for their predicatment. They shouldn't believe that they are to blame or that something is completely wrong with them. There isn't.

I don't know how to get Sven a girlfriend. I'd be willing to try to be Yvonne's friend. I do know that neither should beat themselver up over their predicatment. I do know that things don't ever have to stay the same. Yvonne can find people who want to know the real her. Both these people are very valuable and wonderful creations. It isn't about trying to check out the neighbours lawn but rather, try to make the best of the lawn one already has.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I'm Alive. . .

I thought you guys might want to know that I am indeed healthy, alive and well. I also have really short hair now. But that isn't the reason for me being healthy, alive and well. The fact that I am alive, did allow me to cut my hair really short. I do enjoy the short hair which would in turn make me feel well. I am sure you really don't care about the shortness of my hair but would rather like to find out why I decided to disappear for ever and ever. First off, it wasn't forever and ever so you really need to work on the exageration problem. Secondly, it is too late for me to come up with a really funny and witty lie as to why I haven't been blogging. The truth is really far too dull for any of you to have to endure to read about. Let's just call it is an 'internet exile'. I have returned or at least, until I disappear again.

Before I depart, I'd like to give a big giant 'CONGRATULATIONS' to the brand new Mr Dave & Leigh Nelson. I'll have to get used to Leigh's new last name. But I am super happy for you guys. I send you many well wishes. I love you both to bunches and bunches.

With that, I disappear. . . until tomorrow (hopefully).

Oh wait, I do owe one person some major recognition and my blog would be the best spot to do it. Purple Terry is indeed more entertaining then Hollywood. But some would also say, I am an above average looking guy. With shorter hair but still really groovey sideburns.

Okay, I've got a pillow that really wants my head on it.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Things That 'Terror Night' Taught Me. . .

Credible and renowned actors from the '20s star in films titled 'Lancelot of the Lake', 'Jungle Heat' and 'El Gaucho.'

Mansions that have been abandoned for several years by 1920's Celebrities are watched over by security guards. Though, they don't necessarily catch intruders.

Having your head severed from your body does not stop you from screaming.

'80s Bikers sound a lot like surfers.

Said '80s bikers tend to not notice large mansions until mentioned on the radio.

Don't lock your doors because it'll trap you in your house when undead '20's Actors want to kiss you to death.

Undead '20s Actors always forget there is a 3rd person in the house after being ready for the first 2.

Cake is the comfort food after 4 of your friends get murdered.

Hobos win Oscars.

Oscars make great ash trays despite being trophies rather then trays.

Wearing a white hat is great for keeping hidden at night time.

Police men who are on survelliance will allow killers who are walking dogs to sneak into homes.

Detectives are very concerned about how quickly two people move in together rather then murder cases.

In order to live forever, you need to say that you want to.

If you're a complete stranger but want to hang out with a group of people then make sure your name is Chip.

This movie will never have a special edition.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Chip Meet Shoulder, Shoulder Meet Chip

Before I start today's little rant, I want to do a quick shout out to the man known as Purple Terry. After my post, that basically called the man out, Terry has been rather consistent on bringing the blog action. All of the new blogs by Purple Terry have been absolutely entertaining. I enjoy his stuff and you all should give him a gander. He's a friend, that alone should speak volumes for his entertainment value. Check out my blog links and he is under 'This Guy Updates!!!'

Now, back to our regular scheduled bloggging. The last two groups that have come in, have been a rather interesting bunch. Both are almost exact opposites yet have one major similarity. The one group was about 63 cadets that aged from 12 years old to about 18 years old. Most of the older kids where highly ranked such as Sargent. The other group that just came in this weekend, got mention in yesterday's blog, was about 32 youth from the Scarborough area. The cadets seemed to be mostly middle to uppr middle class kids. While the youth groups, was mainly kids from lower income families that only came through the kind sponsorship of church elders.

It's obvious that they are very opposite groups. Both these groups are not typical patrons of Medeba. I would love to have more 'uncommon' groups into Medeba but our clientele just seems to be more middle to upper class youth groups. Anyway, I'm not going to rant about the type of people that Medeba attracts. I'm here to mention the one common factor I noticed from both groups.

Several of the kids from both groups seemed to have very large chips on their shoulders.

For the cadet group, many of the Sargents who were probably close to 18 years old seemed to be on a power trip. They liked to be in authority. They were sure to show they were in authority with every chance they got. They yelled and screamed. They got the cadets to do everything possible for them. I don't understand the culture but I know that may be part of the culture. Then, they started to try to power trip with me. They started to tell me that they don't have to do certian things because they have a high rank. Unfortunately for them. in the Medeba Dish Room, I am the ultmate authority. Those punks weren't going to tell me or my staff how things are run. They would do whatever it was that I asked of them. It was quite interesting to see how much they valued their rank. How much they thrived off the power. They needed to let everyone know how important they were. To me, that is sign they've gone a large chip hanging out on shoulder right.

I'll admit, I'm pretty oblivous to that culture. My impression was that it could be that very culture that instilled that attitude. At the same time, you would think such a program would be about respect. It didn't seem these leaders had respect for other authority figures that were outside of the cadets. To me, that isn't the sign of a very good leader. A leader needs to respect all people. Especially the people that are under them and these Sargents, definitely didn't treat the 'lower ranked' cadets very well at all.

Now let's move on to the youth group from this weekend. As I said before, there was a lot of lower income kids in this group. The majority of the guests in this group would be considered minorities here in Canada. Definitely major minorities in good ol' West G but I won't dwell on that topic. Once again, we had a lot of kids that seemed to be out to prove something. They didn't like to be asked to do a certian job. They didn't seem to believe that they needed to work or clean. I got the impression, they felt that the 'world' or whoever owed them something. The biggest thing I noticed, they didn't want to show any respect to authority. They didn't want to be pushed around. They defnitely didn't want to make it look like they were weak. I'd say that earns them a rather large chip on their shoulder.

You know what? I don't blame them one bit. I can't relate to the life that they have. I can't understand fully the battle they face day to day. From day one, they were probably born with a chip on their shoulder. They were probably taught that they had been wronged and that the world did owe them something. I can imagine that most days, it probably felt like that something good must be due to them. The simple truth, those kids need to feel a lot of love. They need to know that someone gives a damn about them. Deep down, every one of those kids seems to be really good. They just had a rough edge. A rough edge that was covering up a lot of truly amazing stuff.

Of course, I also didn't let them push me around. I didn't let them get away with talking badly to the cook's daughter. They hit a hot button of mine. A few of the guys found themselves making the dish room spotless. I wasn't going to take crap and they learned that pretty quick. Showing love to somebody doesn't mean you get pushed around. Sometimes, you have to be a little tough yourself.

It was quite an experience. It was an eye opening time. I really did enjoy this weekend's group. It has really reaffirmed how much I would love to get involved with 'inner-city' type missions. Maybe one day, I can help start knocking off a little bit of that chip. Allow the true greatness to shine through the person.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

The Internet Is A Meanie. . .

You ever have that really big kid that runs over to you and kicks sand into your balogna & cheese sandwich?

Or how about that dog that growls in your direction and makes you pee your pants thus ruining your suave attire for your hot date?

Or how about squirrels that dart towards your bare feet in attempt to feast on them thus making you cower in a corner never being able to look at the world innocently again?

Or a witch doctor that puts a hex on you forcing you to squack like a chicken and thus, ruining your chances at winning the local Speeches For Skittle contest at your armoury?

All these things are mean. They ruin your day. They spit on your glorious moment. They hide your sunshine. You want to know who is the ultimate meanie?

You already know because I decided to give it away in the subject header. How anitclimatic. But for the last few days, my internet has decided to 'disconnect' at the most inconvenient of time. Like when I'm sending an e-mail. Or typing up a really killer blog. So yeah, I wrote a really deep and insightful blog yesterday. You'll never be able to read it. Because the meanie we know as the internet decided it cannot be shared with the public.


Ignore the fact that I could always retype it if I really wanted to. I won't. Because the moment was then and now is not then. Catch that? I hope to confuse you so you won't bother me about posting it again.

On a totally unrelated note, the church that is up this weekend has done something that is very not mean. Many of the kids up this weekend are from low income homes. They usually wouldn't be able to afford to come here. The elders of the church have decided to sponsor many of these teenagers. So now, they are able to have an experience they would never normally have. Now that is a very unmean thing. I am very impressed.

Internet is still a punk.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

This one is for D Tone. . .

It's the day a whole bunch of people remember they have Irish Ancestory so that they can get plastered. Usually, plastered on really awful and tacky green beer. It also used to be the time that McDonald's offered up those green, shamrock shakes. Though, in all my years I don't think I ever enjoyed a McD's green shake. It's also the time of year we all throw rocks at small people in green suits. We will get their gold. That is right, it is St. Patrick's Day!!!

To my dear friend Dave Nelson, I wish you an extra special St. Patrick's Day. This is your day, buddy. All the rest of us are in it for the pot of gold and 4 leaf clovers. Though in West G, there isn't any signs of the colour green except maybe the snot running from our noses. With that thought, everyone enjoy this day which is good enough to get loads of people sloshed but not enough of a special day to warrant me getting a Stat holiday. Rats! So, much for the luck of the Irish. I knew, I should have kidnapped Dave and stored him in my closet. Then I'd have his luck and his gold. Instead, I had to work and uh, not have gold??? Next year, I'll set a trap and catch me a small, Irish man (aka Dave). I hear, Lucky Charms is a great lure.

Hmmm, wasn't this post supposed to be a well wish to Dave? Maybe you should all ignore the whole thing about kidnapping. Let's try this again, Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone but especially to the true Irish Icon Dave 'The D Tone' Nelson.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

No Pity. . .

The world of television is full of crap. It's basically a big toilet for media. Thus it being full of crap. Oh boy, this blog already is showing signs of lack of wit and creativity. Hm, lack of creativity -- it's fitting that I'm talking about television shows. Did I mention how television has a lot of awful shows? We've got a slew of reality television plaguing the airwaves. I'm sure most of you already know my lack of love for all that is reality television. I will always prefer my television entertainment in scripted form. Exceptions being sporting events, news telecasts or nature shows (especially ones about meerkats, right Tim). Unfortunately, the word on the street is most scripted television isn't doing much better then reality television when it comes to bringing the good. So, television is becoming a big heaping pile of yuck. Which is the reason why I don't even bother having cable anymore. Okay, I actually don't have cable because I live in the boonies and cable isn't even offered up here. Don't let the facts get in the way of my blog, okay?

There is one good thing about television and all it's glorious garbage. It makes for some really good bashing. I'm always up for a good jab at things that are begging for it. There happens to be a website that I stumbled upon a few years ago whose mission is to heave insults on lousy television. Basically, they give reviews on several different shows but pepper in a lot of sarcastice comments and point out all the glaring plot holes. They usually do a fairly decent job of making really lousy shows into a fairly entertaining read. Then again, I have no life so this might not be your thing.

They all started with the purpose to jab and abuse Darolyn's all time favourite show. Since it's now over, they have moved on to unrelentlessly beat on other unworthy programming. If this sort thing butters your bagel then be sure to head over to Television Without Pity. It does a good job of living up to it's name.

Monday, March 14, 2005

No Academy Awards Here. . .

A hobby amongst some of my friends, is watching really awful, low budget, B-movies. Through my years, I've endured a lot of crap. Personally, I'd rather watch a Wes Anderson film or someting from Guy Ritchie. I have to admit that a really bad movie has a certian charm. On this magnificent universe called the internet, there is one site for all your bad movie reviews. That site appropriately enough is title Bad Movies. Read thrilling reviews for such classics as 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' and 'The Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.' I can promise you there is no Oscar candidates here. Unless 'Super Mario Bros.' or 'Master of the Universe' weren't the complete disasters that my memory seems to want to tell me.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Useless Link of the Day. . .

Ever heard of Adventure games?

King's Quest? Monkey Island? Space Quest? Full Throttle?

If you haven't heard of any of those titles then you are slowly proving how little of a computer geek you are. If you have heard of them, then there is a chance you would be a fan of computer Adventure games. If you are then I've got a link to a website that is entirely dedicated to adventures games. I was totally addicted to these games back in high school. While most video games involved who could push button B faster, these games revolved around how quick your mind worked. The premise was trying to solve several puzzles while watching an in-depth story unfold. Man, I really did a poor job of describing that. Anyway, check out the site that is all about games that really aren't considered of much worth in the mainstream market but I think, are a 100 times more fun then the latest version of 'Shoot'em Up Shooter Shoots'. So yeah, click here!

And yes, this is a notorious cop out blog where I resort to giving you a link rather then come up with something worth reading. Live with it.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Exorcist: The Beginning - A Movie Review

The fact that I've watched this movie might ruffle a few feathers of some of my readers. It is a movie about demon possession. I know, that some of you would choose to never watch this film or any film that resembles this. I respect that. I did watch this movie and I also watched the original. Yes, I am a Christian. I absolutely love God and want to follow Him for every day of my life. I don't think that watching movies like this changes that in anyway. But this blog isn't about my need to defend my faith, beliefs or morals. It's about a movie. I'll save the ongoing Conservative Christian v. Liberal Christian debate for another very spirited and feather ruffling blog (though be warned, I will hold off from doing that blog as long as I'm possibly allowed since it'll actually take thought and work).

I loved the first Exorcist. It is possibly one of the scariest horror movies I've ever seen. Probably because demon possesion is something that is real. It wasn't about giant, toxic ants or mutants from planet Zombinia. It was about a little girl that was possesesed by a demon and a priest's battle to exorcise the demon in the poor child. It was absolutely chilling. One of my all time favourite movies though I usually go to bed with a night light on after watching it.

Unfortunately, Exorcist had two sequels that where absolutely horrid. The plot was inane and unbelievable. The films were a chore to sit through. Worst of all, they weren't even in the ball park of scary. Basically, the sequels took a big fart in the face of the franchise.

So, I went into watching this film with lowered expectations. I wasn't expecting anything very good. I definitely didn't give it a chance to measure up to the amazing orignal. Now that I've spent my 2 hours watching the film, I would say it definitely didn't blow any stinky wind but it also couldn't find the ballpark. The prequel to Exorcist, still just isn't able to compare to the true film of scary.

This movie is based before the orignal film. It is about a priest turned archeologist who is sent to a country in Africa to examine a dig. Since the movie is called Exorcist, the dig seems to have some unwanted possesssion thrown in. The former priest, finds himself needing to turn back to God to combat this problem. During the priest's journey, he uncovers many dark secrets about this particular ground.

The film is pretty busy. A lot seems to be happening. It tries to have a fair share of twists and turns. Some of the twist, like many movies, are fairly illogical. If you step back for one minute, you realize what just happend contradicts the story. The movie tries to be a scary film that keeps your brain busy. I find it keep your brain so busy that you don't really have time to ever be scared. It has has so many useless sub plots that never really pay off. Though, I did enjoy the sub plot of how the protagnist lost his faith in God during his time in Nazi Germany. Then, during this evil time the priest needs to reexamine his faith and try to get right with God.

The just mentioned subplot, reminds me of another point. The power of God is shown in this film. The film does show God as the almighty. If you trust Him, then you will be able to prevail. Say what you will about this movie, it does paint God in a positive light. Though, if you hate horror movies or especially R rated movies then I still don't recommmend you watch it.

Back to my analysis, this film has a lot happening througout it's 2 hours. The problem is, despite all the busyness it is still a fairly basic film. The main theme is the priest battling the exorcism. I think the movie wants to make you think there is more. It wants to be more then a simple horror film. In reality it isn't. I think, it's attempt makes it weaker. I didn't find much of a point for most of the sub plots. I just felt it congested the film and messed up the pacing of the movie.

When it comes down to it, it really isn't a very scary movie. A proof of that, I didn't even have any nightmares from the film. Instead, I had a dream about my friend Tim honking at KFCs and yelling 'Honk for Bueller!' Don't ask. While your at it, don't bother renting this movie. Save your cash, go treat yourself to the truly superior orignal. Though, for the conservative, you have been warned.

Friday, March 11, 2005

You Do It. . .

Delegation. I once thought it was a sign of weakness or laziness. Why get someone else to do something that I can do? Even if it takes 45 straight hours to plan the 'St. Monica Pretty Boy Bedazzler Ball', I will do it by myself because I am fully capable. Why ask for help? Why get other people to do parts of the job? They will only mess it up. Then I'll have to do the whole things anyway. Ha, delegation is for the simple minded weaklings of this world.

I was an idiot. One of the major things I have learned over these last several years is that a true leader is able to delegate. That doesn't mean he gets Pancho to mow his lawn while he sips on Strawberry Malties (not that I even know what a Maltie is). There is times that getting everyone to do your work is a rather big sign that your lazy. If Lady Patricia gets here boyfriend Ollie to move her from room to room by piggy back then I will designate her the Queen of the lazies. But if Mitchum B. Mitchner gets his secretary to file some papers so that he can finish the 'Mitchner Monthly' then he is being a smart man.

I wouldn't have been able to be alive today if I didn't delegate as program director. My current job, I'm learning it is okay to get someone to take on a few jobs for you. I actually don't need to have 47 jobs on the go at the same time. People are willing to take the load. What a concept!

I blogged about pride last spring. It looks like it is a little monster I still battle. I still think I can do it all on my own. Then I work myself sick. Which doesn't really sound like the most productive business strategy. Once again, I concede and admit my plans are flawed. And yes, sometimes it s a good plan to delegate off some tasks.

If I am willing to help others with their tasks then I must be willing to have them help me. It's a two way street of job passing. Besides, when will I have the chance to help other if I'm so busy doing my 47 jobs of vile and wretchedness. Yes Virginia, Chris knows you got to delegate in order to get things done. He also doesn't believe in Santa Clause so he isn't going to help you out there.

Just for the record, I refuse to be delegated on clipping your toe nails duty just so you can put full attention into the latest issue of ' Hermit Bowl Challenge.'

Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Man, The Myth, The Absent. . .

Purple isn't my favourite colour; by far, red is my favourite of all the colours. Today, I mourn of the incredible lack of purple. It's not so much the colour that I miss. It's the man. The man who gave purple it's fame. The man who is famous for his ranting. His campaign against the mainstream infestation of Sheryl Crow is absolutely legendary. Who can forget the outstanding commentary on the aging we will all suffer. I don't use the words 'life changing' often and I will not use them here. I still think the man had some good ranting. Now, I sit before this computer and realize this legendary ranter hasn't done a single blog since the 24th of June. Of course, I am talking about the man known as Purple Terry. Oh Terry, you are missed. How we all need another bashing of Sheryl Crow or your unique views of the world we live in. He's a man. A BBQ stained shirt wearing, coffee creamer drinking, hairling receding man. One heck of a good friend. Maybe not so good at keeping on the blogging.

I create this post today in hopes to inspire Purple Terry to come out of hiding. Grace us all with another magnificent rant. If you want to find out who I am talking about then be sure to click right. . . (wait for it). . . (it's coming). . . (be patient). . . here. Enjoy the man we all know as Purple Terry.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Not Making A Bundle Of Money. . .

Medeba has another group in. A group of 2 people. That is not a typo. We only have 2 guests in. I also don't plan on charging them the $99.00 per guest plus 10% tax. Yes, this sounds like a horrible business move. I also understand that 2 people is way under the 25 group minimum that we have. 23 people to be exact. I don't care. I'm a rebel. Plus they just so happen to be 2 really good friends of mine. They are visiting me. Just for the record, I am not planning on continuing to book youth groups of 2 people. Nor do I think that a youth group of 2 should really plan a lot of spiritual retreats. I do encourage you all, to find a way to come and visit me.

To Tim & Dave, thank you for a really amazing visit. I look forward to a Thursday of playing and laughing!!! You are the greatest friends a guy could ask for. I'm truly blessed to know you both.

Enough sappy stuff. I'm going to stop this blogging and go back to the playing!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Telemarketers: Soceity's Bum Zit. . .

Here is the actual dictionary definition of telemarketer.

tel'e'mar'ket'er n. 1. The single most annoying people on the face of the Earth which includes Pauly Shore and Roseanne 2. The symbolic zit on society's symbolic bum 3. The reason people have unregistered/private phone numbers.

I understand that a job is a job. You need to make money in order to heat your trailer or buy your package of spam. Telemarketers must be the least liked people of any profession. I would probably rather have dinner with Carrot Top with all his lame props then ever be interrupted by another vile telemarketer. I don't think I'll ever resort to having that as my profession. If I do then please feel free to throw baseball bats with nails inserted directly at my face.

Here are some real conversations I have had with the people known as the bane of my existence.

'Is Mr. Christopher David Spicer there?'


'Are you interested in getting a really expensive insurance package that will not benefit you in anyway?


'Would you like to hear about it?'

'I'm going to hang up now.'

'Great! I will now drone on for 20 minutes about something you have no desire to purchase with no regards to the fact you have been busy doing something or have to go somewhere in the next hour! Sound like a great idea?


'Awesome!. What is your name?'

"Uh, you already know it?'

'What is your birthdate? Your address? IQ level? Favourite soft drink of choice? Do you prefer walks or cuddling? If you have to lose any finger which one would it be?'


'Thank you! I'm now going to put you on hold for 10 minutes and transfer you to someone you don't want to talk to!'

'Please don't.'

"You are on hold! Ten minutes of your life has now been wasted!'


'Hi there, you are interested in our 30 day trial for our useless but expensive insurance! I'm going to put you on it right now! Remember, it is free for 30 days! Then, after 30 days we will start to charge you an arm and a leg! We will be sure to not notify you when your trial period is off! We hope to trick you into giving us all your money!'

"I never even said I wanted this. You just started taking my personal info. I demand you take me off this or I'll leave your bank.'

'But its completely useless and really expensive! We've already wasted your entire evening, wouldn't you like to also lose all your money?'

'When you put it that way, absolutely not.'

'Fantastic! Now, I need. . . '

---dial tone-----

Want more proof of the crappiness of the crappy?

'Hello, is [insert boss here]'

"Sorry, he is out for the day. Can I transfer you to his voice mail?'

'Are you an employer at this place of business?'

'Do you even know what this place is?'

'Of course not, but I hope to trick you into buying a really lousy and high interest cost Business Credit Card? Do you work here?'

'No, I just answer phones at random places of business because it's a deep passion of mine. Of course, I work here.'

'Lucky you, then you qualify for this really amazing Business Credit Card!'

'I really couldn't be less interested.'

"Awesome! I just need your name, address, phone number, monthly income, and your soul!'

'Uh, I'm sort of working here. I really need to go and you know, work.'

'This will only waste your entire morning! I mean, it will take about 5 minutes! Then we can start sucking you for all you are worth!'

'Wow, serious! I'm convinced! Let's start the long and torturous process now!'

'Okay, so first I need your name. . . '

----dial tone-------

I'm sorry if this offended any telemarketers. Truth is, you are pure evil. Have a great day!

Monday, March 07, 2005

I Couldn't Even Get A Whole Week. . .

I don't remember the exact date. I definitely don't recall the year. I know it was February. It was either on Valentine's Day or it was the day before. In the end, that doesn't really affect the story. It definitely doesn't change the outcome. I was on a blind date. I wasn't told it was a blind date but it started to come very clear that this is what it was. My friend had been dating a young lady for a few months now and it seemed pretty serious. I got along with her fairly well. She seemed to think I was a prety swell guy. As luck would have it, I usually found myself as the third wheel. I started to not really want to hang out with them. Especially since they tended to be a rather 'touchy' couple. I've never been a big fan of watching two people make baby talk and lie on top of each other. Actually, it's making me sick to my stomach just reminiscing.

Anyway, my friend's girlfriend asked if it was okay if a friend of hers hung out one weekend. Since I sort of got tired sitting in a corner while they made out, I thought it would be an outstanding idea. I encouraged her try to bring this friend along. It should be fun to have someone to talk to. I was promised that she was a cool girl and that I would really like her. That was enough evidence for me to give the go ahead.

Little did I know, I had just agreed to a blind date. No, this didn't mean I had to spend the whole evening with a rag wrapped around my eyes. I wouldn't have done so well with that because I don't like not seeing for an extended period of time. Unless I'm sleeping because I tend to do that just fine with my eyes closed. But this isn't supposed to be about my sleeping patterns but rather a mistake made in my storied life. I agree, at 27 years old calling my life 'storied' does come off a little vain. This is my blog and here, I say what goes. Yes, that came off even more vain. Ahem, I've got a story to finish here.

I met the girl. Girl is pretty. Next thing I know, I'm in the backseat of the car and being driven to some zany resturaunt. Well, 'zany' might make you think we went to a Chucky Cheese or a Pirate Themed Establishment. Those would have actually been really fun. Instead, we went to a place called Callahan's and I think I got chicken wings. I realize that chicken wings is one of the worst of all first date foods. I didn't even know I was on a date yet. I thought, I was just hanging out with a girl. I think, I ended up paying for her dinner but that was probably because I didn't feel like splitting a 20.

Then things started getting fishy. My friend and his girlfriend disappeared a lot. Somehow, I always ended up sitting right next to this girl. I was being pushed to ask questions and get to know this girl. It started to feel like a date. It couldn't be a date? Right? My friends wouldn't put me on a blind date. That's for people in sitcoms and they never turn out good. Besides, my friend knew that I had a really big crush on a girl back at school.

Little did I know, my friend decided it was time for me to move on. He didn't like that I had a really big crush on this girl from high school. He knew what I didn't. She wasn't ever going to date me. I seemed to have missed the signs like when she said, 'We will only ever be friends' or 'We will never ever date.' They were a little too subtle as you can see.

Here I was, liking another girl and oblivious that I was on a date. Next thing I knew, we were in a park. How romantic. Except it wasn't romantic at all because I was still in the land of oblivious. I do realize I am a permanent resident there but I do take occasional visits to reality. I had bought her a small gift because my friend thought it would be nice. It was Valentine's Day or close to it, I thought she would appreciate it. I gave her gift and I wish I remember what it was. It wasn't wrestling or Transformers related so I've since forgotten.

While I was giving the gift, my friends seemed to have vanished. Which was odd because I thought they only did their affection in public. I thought maybe a vulture carried them off or something. But like a bad cough, I knew they would be back. They had left me alone with this girl once again. So, we talked and talked and talked. To be honest, I started to get a little bored. To amuse myself, I slipped the ring off her finger and did a mock proposal to her. I know it sounds very random and odd but either my memory really stinks or it was just really odd. 10 years hasn't left me with the most vivid of memories of the night. Yet I continue to blabber on, isn't it amazing?

Somehow, this lead to her asking me question. It wasn't a question I had ever been asked in my 17 years of existence at the time. She wasn't asking me my favourite colour or who had just farted. Those where questions I knew how to respond to - which would both be me farting again and then laughing at my genius. No, instead she asked me, 'Aren't you going to kiss me?' I was shocked. A girl? Wants to kiss me? Did I want to kiss her? Did I even like her? Well, I didn't have much time to process it all because next thing I knew, she was kissing me. Thus I had my very first kiss. This hang out, had now become a date.

I had many more kisses that night. I remember becoming really cuddly. Basically, I would have made myself sick on any other day. This wasn't any other day. This was the day I was on a date that I didn't think was a date. A proof that I truly am an oblivious man. She left that night and I was left wondering what had happend. I was later told, I was now dating her and a good boyfriend would call her the next day. Since, this was my first time being a boyfriend then I really didn't want to start things off on a bad note. I called her. I proceeded to realize we had a whole lot not in common. I got bored. I was a good boyfriend and thus stayed on the phone for close to an hour.

We had decided that we would have another date on the next Friday. I wasn't particurally pumped but it would give me something to do. We met up at the mall which is the mandatory hook up spot for all high schoolers. We then ended up going to the concert of a band that I knew the members. It was fun and jolly and wild and stuff. Definitely stuff considering I was a high school student. I had the lingo down. Anyway, at some point we decided to explore the basement of the church we were in. Apparently, during all exploring sessions you need to kiss the person you are with. Since we were really exploring then I really kissed her a lot.

Then she stopped talking to me. Which was odd because she usually would never stop. Talking was sort of her hobby. She would go on and on and on and on -- don't you hate that about people? Um, anyway. I asked her what was wrong and to the best of my recollection, this was the dialogue.

'I think I shouldn't have kissed you, Chris.'

'Uh, why?

'Because, I really think we work best as friends.'


'I'm really sorry.'


'I didn't want to break your heart. I didn't want to hurt you.'


'Are you going to be okay?'


'Be honest, Chris.'

'I'll be fine.'

'We can still be friends, right?'

"Were we friends?'

'Oh Chris, don't be mad at me.'

"I'm not. This is cool. Honest.'

'Don't hide your feelings. Everything is going to be fine. I really want to remain your friend.'

'Cool. Um, I think I am going to go home.'

'I don't think you should be alone tonight. I think you need a friend. I know your hurting.'

'Um, I think I'll manage.'

'Don't forget me, okay?'

'I won't. Can I go?'

"Call me, okay?'

'It's long distance and I can't really afford it.'

'Will you visit?'

'I don't have a car.'

'Will you miss me?'

'Not if you never let me leave.'

Thus ended, my one week relationship with the girl I didn't know I had a blind date with. Thus the reason I detest blind dates. This has always been the little relationship I would like to white out. Pretend it never happend. It did happend. I dated a girl for less then a week. I can honestly say, I didn't really ever like her. I just was sort of confused as to how I was supposed to act. Thus I gave another proof to why men are a stupid, stupid, stupid gender. I don't know whatever happend to her. I actually only saw her once after this. It was one of the shortest conversations known to man. I went on to have a crush on the girl my friend didn't want me to have a crush on. That probably lasted until my high school career ended. I did high school for 6 years so that was a long crush. I'll save my ineptness at high school story for another day.

What did we learn about today kids? 1)There is a reason to why Chris hates blind dates. 2)Chris has dated a girl for less then a week. 3)The incorrest answer to the question 'are you going to kiss me', is to kiss them if you actually weren't planning on doing it. Just say no. It will save you a week of your life.