Thursday, February 03, 2005

DY-NO-MITE!!!

'You've got to see Napolean Dynamite'

'Napolean Dynamite is completely your kind of movie.'

'You will absolutely love Napolean Dynamite.'

'Napolean Dynamite is one of the funniest movies ever!!!'

These are actual statements that I've received from several friends. These are friends that I trusted. Some of these friends, I may even be willing to put my life in their hands. These are also friends that sucessfully made sure that I wasted 2 hours of my life.

I would normally give a brief break down of the plot of the film I'm reviewing. The truth is, Napolean Dynamite doesn't have a plot. It doesn't even seem to try to have anything that would resemble a plot. Instead, they decided to throw out a bunch of silly one liners and see if it can make a film. I guess, by a loose definition it is a film. It had actors. It had writers (or at least, some monkeys that randomly typed a script). It had camera men. It can be found on DVD or VHS. It was released through a distribution company. Yes, Napolean Dynamite is a film because it fits all the requirements. You notice I never decided to put in the word 'good'.

Napolean Dynamite is a movie that seems a lot funnier when you aren't watching it. It contains a lot of lines that seem very fun when you're spouting them off to a friend. Just for the record, the lines are a lot less funny after the 67th time you hear them. This is what my dear friend Scott calls a 'quote movie'. It's funny to quote but not as funny to watch. I actually think watching the film over and over might be a new form of torture to convicts. I sure felt tortured at times.

I'm sure I'm breaking a many hearts when I say that I didn't love Napolean Dynamite. I didn't even really like Napolean Dynamite. I felt it dragged. I'm pretty sure I'm 45% stupider for having endured it. But I also admit that I find myself sneaking in quotes of that movie throughout the day. Must be the case of being 45% dumber?

Napolean Dynamite gets a big, 'Gosh, why did I even bother. Stupid!' from me.

2 comments:

  1. Did you watch this movie alone? Because I have heard this dismal review before from someone who watched it alone. I think watching it with other people who remember back to those days, definitely helps make things even funnier. Can you honestly say that when he danced infront of the whole school you didn't laugh?!? Or him throwing a little action figure attached to a string out the back of the school bus window just to drag it? Or yelling at the lama? Come on Spice...

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  2. Pueller knows... and he is pained. After seeing the movie and joking around with friends about it, I will admit I felt a tugging. It is like when you make an awful pot of coffee in the morning and have a sip that wreaks unfathomable disgust. You put it down. Time passes. You think about it a bit. It is only coffee. It seems appealing. You remember the flavour, but think, 'It cannot be that bad. It is only coffee.' You then decide to pick it up and have another sip. It fooled you. Pueller was fooled. I believe after post movie jokes that I had watched a good film. I rented it for Spicer and we watched it. It seemed quite long. The point of what I am trying to say: sorry for handing you a steaming mug of crap. We can always reminisce about how it needed more sugar.

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