Because what else would you expect on a Friday?
10. If Michael Bay won an Academy Award for Best Director (or one of his films got Best Picture) would clocks everywhere go in reverse, rain from the heavens turn to blood, squirrels start to eat their young, candy begin to taste like road salt, and generally, life as we know it would start to self destruct?
9. Why is it that when something is obviously failing (parenting, government, hula hooping) we automatically resort to the opposite extreme rather than try some of the happy middle ground?
8. Summit is a teenager now, does this mean he'll start 'texting' all his barks?
7. Why do some in Hollywood not grasp the concept that a woman aging naturally is far more beautiful than a women slowly becoming a freaky, mashed-up toy figure?
6. If it is true that there may be other planets that can sustain living organism, than is it too soon to start using Independence Day as a learning tool in schools?
5. This one is for George Lucas. Dude, why do you keep kicking my childhood in the balls?
4. This one is for Stephen Harper. Do you even know what democracy is?
3. Is now the time on Sprockets when we dance?
2. If you're going to insist on calling it the poop deck, then what did you expect me to do?
1. How awesome is it that a good and close friend of mine is getting his married on this weekend?
I can answer that last one. Very.