Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Cialis, Because Sometimes You Want To Be Really Late

One major thing I've learned ever since getting cable and starting to listen to the radio at work, is that there is a lot of really idiotic commercials out there. I am talking about the type of idiocy that puts a pie tin on his head, then declares himself the king of New Mexico (despite living in Ontario), and roams the streets wearing nothing but last year's New Year Eve's streamers. It is the type of idiocy that makes you want to fling your shoe towards the device that is allowing such commercials into your home or place of business (until your realize, destroying expensive equipment to spite a 30 second ad is much more idiotic). Out of all the mindless and stupid commercials that are roaming the airwaves waiting to consume your very soul, the reigning emperor of the clan is the series of Cialis commercials.

If you didn't already know what Cialis was, would these commercials help inform you and then motivate you to beg your doctor for a prescription for a fresh batch?

I've seen two different commercials for the drug, and they both basically have the same message. Cialis makes you late for things. Because apparently, there is a market out there for people who are just getting completely frustrated by the fact that they aren't making taxi drivers wait long enough or are arriving to the Opera too early so they end up having to watch the whole show. These people are completely traumatized over the fact they have never missed an engagement or been fired from work because they are just too dang punctual. "Oh if only I arrived an hour late, then I could be upset that I paid $10 to only see a half hour of this movie. Yet here I am enjoying the entire production." Now, if there actually is a market for people who want to be late, then I'd be more than happy to offer my services and provide courses. Emily and I have got the late thing down to a science, and haven't needed any wonder drugs.

Okay, I know that isn't what Cialis is. But the commercial doesn't tell you squat. You either see a couple arrive really late to a show, or another couple who keeps a taxi driver waiting for a long time, then the couples both give each other an awkward kind of look (something like, I really hope the authorities don't start checking out all of those mounds of dirt in our backyard). Then the commercial pops up the Cialis logo, and tells me to ask my doctor if this drug is right for me. Well, I can be late fairly easily on my own, and I also don't need my doctor to tell me how to get my wife to give me awkward looks. Maybe I am just talented, and most need drugs for this.

I am aware that Cialis is for erectile dysfunction, but I did not learn that from these commercials. I can understand the whole 'you now can get aroused and want to win back your naked wrestling championship' thus this hobby makes you late for things. But it doesn't explain why both couples seem to be really uncomfortable around each other. It is almost like the wife is thinking, "I really forgot how awful you were in the sack, and liked it better before when I could finish building my deck." It doesn't really seem like this drug has made their relationship any more intimate or close, but rather just made them late and awkward. Is this really what we want to be selling towards those looking into this type of drug? "Your marriage will probably be worse, but at least you'll miss having to attend your daughter's piano recital."

At first, I thought this commercial was about some drug to cure constipation. It would explain why the man seemed nervous, and the wife was upset when he blamed her for being late. Constipation seems like something that would make a couple a little awkward around each other. I thought, the commercial was telling us that the couple arrived late because the man was spending an hour sweating and grunting in the bathroom (rather than in the bedroom). This awful struggle has made them late and uncomfortable, but Cialis can help. Google says I'm wrong. Apparently, they are selling the drug as a way to get these awkward situations rather than avoid them.

If this is a drug for erectile dysfunction, why isn't there that huge list of problems you may get for taking the drug, just like you get with every other drug commercial. Where is the warnings that Cialis could possibly make my head explode, cause my feet to swell, make me bark like a dog, and give me erectile dysfunction. I thought that was sort of a requirement for drug commercials? And if it isn't, why the heck does every other drug have commercials that warn me about side effects that are worse than the ailment trying to be cured?

Anyway, I think I'll pass on this drug. Partly because everything it provides is not something I am in the market for, and mostly because the commercial doesn't make any sense (yes, if it was an awesome commercial then I'd totally be buying some --maybe -- well, probably not).

No comments:

Post a Comment