Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Hmmm. . . So What Kind Of Sex Do I Prefer Today?

I've blogged about sexual preference before, and at this stage, I think my stance is rather clear and obvious. I found this video on the Good Men Project website (under their Good Feed Blog section); the video is a collection of quick interviews with complete strangers on the streets in Colorado Springs. I find the answers and responses from the individuals to be rather revealing and interesting.



I am especially a fan of the folks that seem rather positive that gays must have chosen their lifestyle, but then are forced to quickly backtrack their stance once asked when they chose to be straight. Because you know what? Straight people don't choose to be straight, but rather, they find themselves naturally physically attracted to the opposite sex. The only ones that are likely to be choosing from the smorgasbord of human flesh would be your bisexuals, who find themselves getting hot and bothered by both sides. The majority of people don't wake up in the morning and say to themselves, "Today, I am going to decide to be attracted to female boobies, because Tuesday is loving the boobies day!" It is the same reason that certain people find themselves attracted to a type of person. They didn't just come to conclusion that they wanted to be drawn to short blonds with large feet, but rather it was an attraction that couldn't be reasoned or debated with. It was there, and now they deal with it.

The best way I can explain it, is from personal experience. The other night I was watching the cinematic masterpiece, Commando with Emily. In the film, a rather buff and well toned Arnold Schwarzenegger took off his shirt and allowed the world to gaze upon his abs and muscular pecs. Emily let out a little squeal of delight, and made it rather clear that she enjoyed the image that was on the television. Meanwhile, I pondered if I could take on Schwarzenegger in a fight if I was properly armed with a 50lb sledgehammer that shot out flaming flying monkeys. What I didn't do was, 'Oh my goodness, I want a piece of his glorious man muscles, and a side of his guy glory!" Because even though I recognized he was a strong and strapping lad, I wasn't drawn to him like a fly to an electric zapper (he just didn't charge me up). On another occasion, our television screen was filled with a rather voluptuous lass, who decided to squeeze her figure into a itsy bitsy bikini. I don't recall Emily making any noises of delight, and I definitely wasn't thinking about fighting her with my flaming monkey hammer of pain. Instead, I not only recognized her to be a rather beautiful and shapely woman, but parts of my body got a little tingly.

In both those cases, I didn't choose to not be physically attracted to Arnie's bulging physique or be attracted to curvaceous bikini gal. It was just that I found myself drawn to one, and not so much to the other. There really wasn't a whole lot of hard thought involved. A man doesn't pick up a swimsuit issue, and tell himself that, "Today, I am going to get really excited looking at these ladies, but tomorrow, I might drool over some Hanes underwear ads." Just like I never had to sit myself down, and decide that I would be insanely, physically attracted with my wife (rather than my male roommate at the time). It wasn't a matter of any debate, but instead, I found myself finding her extremely gorgeous and someone I wouldn't mind doing some naked wrestling with. As for the roommate, as great and awesome as he was, I never at any point had to decide if I wanted to kiss him or not. I never did, and I never had to think about it.

When I was 13 years old, I was cursed with the puberty and hormones just like almost every other budding teenager. There was a point when my body decided not to corporate with me. It was during this time that there was a potential for embarrassment and awkwardness. When I was around certain attractive people, I needed to hide or shield certain things, because my body decided it wanted to inform the world that I was physically attracted. But you know what? It always happened when I was in the presence of really cute and beautiful girls (or women). During high school, I was in countless locker rooms where several attractive men got completely unclothed. Yet, I never had the need to hide or be afraid of awkwardness. Yes, the men may have been attractive to certain people, but I wasn't feeling that vibe. I was off being too busily attracted to all the cute girls, and probably wishing I could change with them instead (though, also realizing it would then be much harder to hide my excitement). In all this, I never had to decide that I'd be drawn to pretty ladies, but rather uninterested in handsome men. It was just the way it was. It has always been that way.

The part of the video I really enjoyed, and I think is something certain people really need to ponder, is when the pair of ladies talked about why they don't think it is a choice. Because why would a person choose a lifestyle that is so hard to live in current society? Why choose a lifestyle that is constantly protested against or demonized or ostracized? Society has progressed to the point that homosexuality is more accepted, or at least, it is legal to practice that lifestyle. But for certain parts in this continent, it is still illegal to be able to marry the love of your life if they happen to be the same sex as you. You are still not allowed to apply for certain jobs if you happen to be open about being gay. There is still certain religious groups (or even non religious) that would make you believe homosexuality is a cancer that is destroying the free world. Why would anyone choose to be a part of that? Being bullied and ostracized kind of sucks, so why would you freely choose a lifestyle that guarantees you're going to likely experience that your whole life to some degree? Why would a person choose to be attracted to someone, and know that they will have to hide it from their family and community because they will likely be shunned? It isn't easy being gay. The only reason I can see someone choosing that life, is because they really are uncontrollable attracted to someone of that gender (or attracted to that specific type).

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, love is awesome. I am so thankful I've got a beautiful and wonderful wife, who I am hopelessly attracted to. I can tell you attributes about her that I love. I can explain things that I am attracted about in her, or reasons why I like her. But I can't tell you exactly why I am more attracted to her than maybe my ex roommate who is also a marvelous person. Other than, I am. I am glad that I am. And I hope that everyone can experience a similar kind of attraction and love I have for her. I wouldn't want to ever rob that from someone else. No matter what gender they are attracted to, I hope a person can have the chance to be in a loving and consensual relationship. Because even if you don't entirely know why you're attracted to who you are, it is pretty awesome to be able to openly express that love.

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