Friday, December 03, 2010

Things I Don't Understand And Probably Never Will

George Lucas insists on constantly bludgeoning my innocent childhood over the head with a diamond encrusted, gold plated bat.

People who don't like reading and find it a chore to write, but yet think 'novelist' will be an easy way to become a millionaire.

You can spend years caring, playing and growing with a living thing that is more loyal to you than almost all your friends, but when you mourn its passing away, people will console you with, "It was just a pet."

Paris Hilton.

Yelling louder and spitting more (thus looking like a jackass) means you've won the argument.

In the Special Edition of Star Wars, why did Jabba hire the bounty hunter with the worst shot ever (he was 3 feet away!)?

I don't have a life threatening disease after spending 5 years in a place called Slum House.

I am married to the most gorgeous, intelligent, wonderful, and hilarious woman on the planet, and she actually returns my feelings.

People who think the best way to get over a sports team constantly losing every year, is to just find a new team to cheer (and I do know all about sticking with losing teams).

Being handy with tools.

People who illegally download music, movies, games or books, but then proceed to whine that selection or quality has gone down recently.

Super villains always leaving the superhero tied up but completely unattended, and assume the guy who always defeats him won't be able to get away this time.

Sister wives.

People who believe the good ol' days was a time that segregation was rampant in the South, lynching was an accepted practice, women were second class citizens, and loving certain people was a crime.

Why there must always be at least one sock that comes out of the dryer without a pair.

People who believe different skin colour and different religion automatically means foreigner.

Growing out of cartoons.

Not doing something nice for someone, just because 'he didn't do it for me.'

Discouraging a child to dream.

Thinking Jesus would spread his love through picketing.

Why pop tarts can't be breakfast, lunch and dinner.

People who get a mass forward, and automatically think everything in it must be 100% factual, because some anonymous source in the e-mail says it is.

My insecurities

When the far right complains it is unfair that 'liberals' are tolerant of everything except the far right's intolerance.

Not believing that great things are still possible.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:21 am

    Wayne Warner via Facebook:

    If you don't understand them... probably no-one does (or needs to)

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dog didn't understand the concept of needing to do his business outside when he was 8 weeks old, but after a few weeks, he definitely grasped it. And he most definitely needed to understand it, because his mess wasn't producing a smell that would make successful perfume.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous9:43 am

    Matthew C via Facebook:

    I have one...People who put up their Christmas tree before advent?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nah, I understand that one.

    ReplyDelete