Monday, April 30, 2012

Remember When I Said I'll Be Back on Monday

Well, I am writing on the blog, and it is Monday for another 10 minutes, so I kept my promise.  I never promised a substantial post with unicorns and Fraggle Rock.  They will have to wait another day.  The weekend ended up being far more social than productive than I hoped.  This is fine, because social is fine and dandy.  It just meant for a long Monday.  But hey, it is almost over now, so clearly it wasn't too long.  Hope your Monday was splendid.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Once Again, I'm Abandoning You for the Weekend

I am going to desert the blog again for the weekend, which on the plus side means you can whistle here all you want.  I'm not going to have any time to entertain you this weekend, because surprise surprise, I've got to get me a shovel and dig myself out of this mound of pay copy I'm buried in.  On top of the work that pays the bills, I've got social commitments to attend to as well, and as much as I love you guys, sometimes I've got to let the real world win out once in a while.  This is that "while".  The weekend will eventually end, and I'll see you all on Monday.

Have a great weekend. 

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Less Than Wonderful Moments of Parenting

Everett is a wonderful son and a dream to look after.  He is the farthest thing away from being a colic baby.  But even he has moments that drive me a little bit crazy.  I'm thankful that they don't happen often, but that isn't much consolation when I'm in a middle of his rage of tears.  In today's "Dad's Eye View", I look at some of the less than wonderful moments of parenting, and some of the things I've learned to keep them to a minimum. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

If You're Going to Whistle Then Please Jam This Screwdriver into My Ear Instead

If a talking bear smashed into my home, and warned me that he would devour my family if I didn't whistle, then pass the ketchup because the Spicers are for dinner.  I can't whistle.  At all.  I can cause spit to fly across the room or sort of sound like a motor boat, but I can't do anything that a normal human being (or a hungry talking bear) would mistake for whistling.  So, I need to admit that before this post gets moving along that I may already have an ingrained bias against whistling.  I can't do it, and so maybe deep in my subconscious I have a ferocious jealousy towards all that can.

But I'm claiming right now that I don't care that I can't whistle (but I'm a writer and so by definition, the truth is always a little obscured).  I can't see why I would ever need to whistle.  I think a good old fashioned "Hey!" covers all the practical purposes for whistling.  But I'm getting ahead of myself now.

I hate whistling.  I mean, I really, really, really, really despise whistling.  It is the stupidest thing that could ever come out of a person's month, and this includes, "By Golly, I should multi-task by showering and blow drying my hair at the same time!"    It is the most pointless form of communication in the entire universe.  The worst part is that it is the most irritating sound to rip into my ears.  It is ear rape.  Sometimes the ferocious damage remains after some boob decides to whistle, and I get a low hum resonating in my ears -- reminding me of the torture that I just endured.  I did I mentioned that whistling is awful, yet?

Some of you are probably yelling (or maybe whistling?), "Hey!  I like whistling.  It is soothing for me."  But doesn't humming serve the same purpose?  Or maybe even singing?  Somebody singing can be the most wondrous sound in the world.  Even if someone is slightly off key but still trying to sound nice, singing can be bearable to hear.  It at least doesn't cause my ear drums to beg for some human decency.

What is the point of whistling?

It is a high pitch shrill sound.  Usually, you can sort of understand how the person thinks their current tune may sound like a recognizable song.  Usually it is a whole bunch of high pitch mouth toots that drag on until shivers go up the spine and you’re looking for anything to jab into the ear to end the sound atrocity.

Nobody whistles to entertain others.  It is for the sole purpose of self-entertainment.  It is probably entertaining for the whistlers because they really can't hear themself all that well and they know they're driving everything around them completely bonkers.  Has anyone in human history ever said, "Gosh darn, I'm so glad Ron has decided to spray shrill noises from his mouth while I try to work through these complicated forms and applications":  They don't say that because whistling is distracting and sounds like a birds that got its foot caught in a blender.

Whistling hasn't ever been used as entertainment.  You don't go to a concert to hear a world class whistler.  There isn't a choir of whistlers that tour across the world, and if they do, they probably only get an audience in Germany where they actually think David Hasselhoff is a musician.  If you go on iTunes right now, I'm pretty sure you're not going to find "U2's Greatest Hits: Whistled".  Even NBC isn't going to resort to having a reality competition show called Whistling Stars, because it would be would worse in the ratings than Whitney (and be even more annoying). We sort of realize this sound isn't something that has mass appeal, and we don't ever look forward to the moment our co-workers start whistling.  I've never heard anyone ever say, "You got to listen to this guy whistle, because his shrill mouth toots are like smooth Unicorn milk butter to the ears."  If they did say this, then they meant that it was like having piping hot melted butter poured down your ears while being stomped by a horse (with a butcher blade taped to its forehead and sometimes it will head butt you, too).

Let’s think about the things that whistling is used for.  We have the dog whistle.  Its purpose is to get a dog's attention, and it gets the dogs attention because the sound just ripped through the dog's poor ears.  The dog quickly returns to you, because he is begging that you never blow that thing again.  "Oh please, I won't run away again.  Don't ever let that that machine rape my ears again.  Please."  Whistles are used by referees in order to stop a play.  It isn't because the players suddenly say, "What a beautiful sounds that just was.  Let us all stop and listen to more beauty from that magical instrument."  We use whistles to stop people from doing something.  It works, because no one wants to hear that horrible noise again.  It is loud and shrill and painful.

Yet people think it is a wonderful thing to do in public.  They like to whistle while they work, because stupid Disney and their dwarfs tricked people into thinking this was a good thing to do.  People will whistle while walking down the street.  People will whistles in almost any public place.  But why?  Because apparently, their whistling has made them deaf, and they now want to damage the hearing of everyone else.  Let's face it, those dwarfs had a pretty crummy job, and I'm pretty sure they whistled so that they could gain revenge on their taskmaster of a boss (who you never saw because he was hiding in his office trying to tend to his bleeding ears).

You want more proof of the evils of whistling?  You've got the misogynistic macho men who whistle at a "broad" while she walks by.  Guys who whistle at women are basically the lowest form of human life.  We can agree on this right?  That whistle means, "Hey baby, I think you're a piece of meat designed to satisfy my lust, because I'm scum and no right minded women would ever pay attention to me."  Or you've got the impatient restaurant patron who whistles at the server, because they feel they haven't been quick enough at jumping to their every whim.  People who whistle at hard working servers are assholes.  Whistling gives off this vibe of "I am in a rush and I don't even have the common courtesy to say your name or say excuse me, which are things I should have learned when I was four."  In both cases, whistling is derogatory and demeaning.

I still have to hear this shrill sound of the devil, despite all the proof of its vileness.  Believe me, whistling will be the "music" that is heard in hell.  It is the whole point of its existence.  To torment all the evil people of this world.  Yet we are currently misusing it and attacking several innocents with it horrendous noise.

I love working at home.  But sometimes it can get a little lonely and solitary.  The one advantage of being alone at home and not having co-workers is that my dog and cat don't know how to whistle.  I don't need to hear someone release the shrill noises of torment while they look through files or smash away at the keyboard beside me.  I can listen to the radio instead, which doesn't have any whistlers.  One of the biggest downsides to working in an office is there is always someone who feels the day goes by better if they whistle. Maybe it does cause their time to fly by, but it leaves countless ears with irreparable damage.

Whistling sucks.  I hate it.  It sounds awful.  And I think I've made my case for why no one should ever release those shrill atrocities again.  Keep it in your mouth.  Hum instead.  Or sing.  Or fart.  I don't care.  But whistling?  You kill a baby panda every time you let out one shrill mouth toot.  Do you really want a fluffy and cute bundle of wonder to die?  Do you?  Are you a panda killer?

Of course, I can't whistle.  So, I know I am safe from being a hypocrite.  You may claim this whole diatribe is unfair.  But again, I'm also not a baby panda killer.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Game Changing Fox Shows

The Fox Network used to be the kid that always wore mismatched socks and weird aviator goggles, and he always had his lunch stolen from the "Big Three" networks.  It was the punch line of the entire TV industry, and was so bad that its own shows would make fun of it.  None of the experts expected it to last 5 years, let alone still be kicking around at 25 years.  Not only is the network 25 years old, but it is now a ratings powerhouse that wins the ratings war several nights a week.   It now gives wedgies to the grandfatherly NBC, and would steal its lunch money if grandpa wasn't broke  Needless to say, the Fox Network is now a place we expect hit shows to be born and has a strong reputation in the industry.

Of course, it has also churned out a lot of crap. 

But since Fox has recently celebrated its 25 year anniversary with a TV special this past Sunday, I thought I'd keep things optimistic for the network.  In today's Collective Publishing Pop Culture column, I look at Fox shows that shaped the television landscape and have influenced many of the current crop of TV shows.  Check out my picks, and then let me know what you think or what shows you believe should be on the list over on the site's comments section.

Do You Want a Side Order of Worry with Your Panic?

New parents panic.  It is just what they do.  Well, they brag as well.  When they aren't doing those things, they're likely feeding the baby, changing the baby and loving the baby.  All those jobs are important too, but parents seem to always find time to panic.  In today's "Dad's Eye View", I look at the greatest source of panic for all new parents.  Then I even offer up a solution, which seems to be working just fine for me.  So, go check that out over at Pregnancy & Newborn, and let me know in their comments section if you suffered the same problems and how you dealt with them. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My Tuesday Afternoon Question of Deep Pondering

It has been one of those days (actually one of those last two months) where I'm not exactly where I want to be in regards to pay copy and other work for this time in the day.  So, instead of spreading the blog with copious amounts of words, I'll leave you (read: cop out) with a question you can mull over for the remaining hours of the day.

If a dastardly wizard suddenly appeared in your home, and said that your fate must be that you're turned into a dessert, but you can choose the dessert, then what dessert would you choose?

My answer?  Fruit cake.  Because no one ever eats fruit cake.  Even if they do, most people like to keep those things around for about 30 years or so, and constantly pass them on to a new person as a gift every year.  I'll still have a nice and long life.  Yes, a life as an awful cake, but maybe I'll get lucky and they'll leave me near a TV or an aquarium.

So, what dessert would you choose to be turned into?

Monday, April 23, 2012

One of the Reasons I Didn't Blog This Weekend. . .

Sometimes it isn't pay copy or work that keeps me from blogging. There are a few times where I actually decide to have some quality family time.

Like going to the zoo. . .

As for today, it is the pay copy. Hope your weekend was fantastic and your Monday extremely bearable.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Everett Asked Me to Stay Off the Blog for the Weekend

So, I will.

Because can you say no to that kind of cuteness?

Friday, April 20, 2012

Now, I Coin a New Term. . .

Daddy Brain.

In today's "Dad's Eye View", I talk all about life with a "daddy brain." I'm sure you can guess what some of the major changes are with a "daddy brain." For example, you're a daddy. That is a pretty major thing. This little lump of living flesh that enters into your life really causes some changes, and one of the biggest is the way you think. I talk all about my new mindset in today's column. Check it out and then share your experience as a dad in the comments. And if you're not a dad, then comment on other dads or rant about how much you're looking forward to your own "daddy brain" for when you become a dad.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

To Answer the Age Old Question if Dick Clark Ages. . .

He passed away yesterday. And here I thought, he was going to truly be the first one to live forever.

American Bandstand was at its peak before I was into music, because either I was non existent or paying more attention to He-Man. I realize he played a significant role in blending music with television, and many consider him the one that paved the way for things like MTV or American Idol. Though, I'm too lazy to verify such claims, I do know the man was a legitimate pop culture icon.

I knew him better as the guy who seemed to never age, and was the host for the big New Year's Eve TV specials. Specials that I watched for about a minute every year, so that I had something to count down to the next year. The man had a pretty impressive streak for being a host for decades, and even made appearances for the last few years even though he'd been replaced by Ryan Seacrest. Ryan wishes he'll have the longevity of Dick Clark.

My childhood memory of Dick Clark was when he was a host of Candid Camera with Ed McMahon. As far as I knew, this was the show that established both men. I was way off and stupid for thinking it, but I was also 8. And again, focusing my attention on the muscle-bound guy with the talking cat. But I thought the show was awesome (again, I was stupid), and remember thinking Clark was a warm and fatherly host. He had one of the most memorable voices in all of entertainment, and one that I always found comforting.

Clark had a pretty large reach in the entertainment world. He hosted some of the biggest specials that didn't just land on New Year's Eve. He played a big part in establishing some of the most legendary musical acts. He was a familiar face for several generations on countless TV programs. The man has been a TV institution, and he'll definitely be missed.

RIP Dick Clark.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

And Now I'll Incur the Hatred of an Army of Leaf Fans

The Leafs suck. Sorry, but this last decade makes it pretty hard to argue otherwise. They haven't even made it to the playoffs in seven years. The best thing the Leaf franchise has done in those past seven years is to publish a giant apology in the newspapers last week. When you have to post an apology for sucking, it is pretty clear you're residing in Loserville. But why is it that the Maple Leafs keep on losing? Well, I blame it on the fans. Why do I blame it on the fans? You can find that out in today's Collective Publishing Pop Culture article. Then you can unleash all your venom over there in the comments section or you know, just admit that I'm right.

My Best Piece of Parenting Advice

In my "Dad's Eye View", I'll occasionally offer up a few nuggets of advice and tips in between my gushing over my wonderful son and my moaning over when he plays the role of something less wonderful. In today's column, I'm offering up the best piece of advice I could possibly deliver. It is something I heard countless times before Everett was born, and I didn't realize how valuable it was until I started doing the whole dad thing. It is likely not the type of advice you'd expect, unless of course you're expecting it -- then it is exactly the advice you'd expect. Why don't you mosey on over there to see if it is the advice you expect, and then decide for yourself if it is as wonderful as I think.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Didn't Blog Yet Again; So Have Some Cute Baby Pictures Instead

Because I've been buried in pay copy, and 75% of you probably come here for the pictures anyway.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Now, It's Time for a Parenting Column Not Written by Me

As you know, I write a twice weekly parenting column that reveals all the adventures from a dad's perspective. But apparently, I am not the only writer in the entire universe that creates content about parenting. It seems that that super duper reputable news site known as Cracked has recently published a parenting article.

You can probably guess based off it almost being 6:00pm, that I've been a little too busy to blog today. So, instead of doing some word creation myself, I thought I'd point you over to this rather interesting article that reveals "bad parenting technique" that actually can be helpful for your child. And once again, I realize this is coming from Cracked, and so you may be prone to ignore it, but I think it brings up some interesting points.

In the very least, it backs up my long standing belief that "just because" is the parental equivalent of saying, "I'm bigger than you, so my nonsense wins." This of course is coming from a parent whose child doesn't talk back or generally even move from the spot I left him at. My experience is rather pathetic, but it is always fun when a comedy site shares some of my own parental beliefs. It at least means my methods will be a hit at clubs and bars, I guess.

It is worth checking out, especially since you're not likely to get anything else from me today. So, I now return to the pay copy.

Friday, April 13, 2012

A Weekend Away

The blog will be dormant for the weekend, because my time in front of the keyboard will be minimal. And really, that is how a weekend should be spent anyway.

Though you may ask yourself, "How is this any different than this past month or so?"

And I say, "Yes, if my blog input was the main source of defence against an alien takeover than we'd all be bowing down to our green, slimey overlords. But why didn't you come up with a better strategy for protection?"

So yeah, blogging hasn't been pouring from the heavens lately, but at least this weekend I know it won't be happening, while other times I delude myself into thinking I can squeeze it in between pay copy and dirty diapers. Do you want anything that was sandwiched against previously digested milk? No, you don't.

Anyway, I'm gone for the weekend, but will (fingers crossed) serve up some freshly baked blog goodness on Monday. Enjoy your weekend.

Bath Time!

We all start to stink at some point. Even babies aren't immune to this reality. But you can't just expect them to jump in a shower and clean themselves off. Instead, you need to help them out with the process. Since this is something you hope they will stick with for the rest of their life, you should probably make it as appealing as possible. The goal in the Spicer house is to make bath time one of the fun times of the house. In today's "Dad's Eye View", I look at the evolution of bath time with Everett, and how we've tried to make it one of his favourite times. Go check it out, and revel in its soapy goodness.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Worst Fictional Places to Live

I love fiction. Fiction has created some of the most magical and magnificent places ever. As a kid, I would often wish I could fly off to Never Never Land or be whisked away off to a galaxy far far away. It never happened. In retrospect, it is probably for the better. Many of these places are great in helping create compelling and engaging stories, but they aren't really safe places to call home. In today's Collective Publishing Pop Culture article, I look at some of the very worst places to live. I know I'm going to pick a few places that you once wished you could live, and may not like me calling it is one of the worst. But it is. Of course, you can always leave a comment over at the article and tell me why I'm wrong or add a place that I left out.

Babies Need Breaks Too

Every time Everett starts to cry, I let him know that I realize how tough it is being a baby. It can't be easy getting food on demand or letting others wipe your butt. Babies need some times for play too, so that they can cope with this stressful world. In today's "Dad's Eye View", I look at some of the very best baby past times. Check it out then try them on your baby, or if you don't have a baby then try it on your cat, or if you don't have a cat then try it on your stuffed llama. You won't regret it!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Thomas Kinkade 1958-2012

I don't know much about Thomas Kinkade, but he is one of the few modern painters I've heard about. I do know he is the "Painter of Light." This is mainly because my parent's were huge fans, and they have several of his painting adorning their living room. So, I was a little shocked to hear he passed away at such a young age. I did once buy my parent's a Kinkade puzzle, because it was closer to my price range than his works of art. I don't think I'd ever buy any of his works for my house, but I enjoyed his scenic paintings and felt his work was filled with character and personality. Though my parent's may miss the chance to buy new works, they have the benefit of knowing their paintings just increased in value.

Apparently, Thomas didn't have the best reputation among the art establishment, which I think would best known as "art snobs." There are countless talented authors or director not "respected" in their chosen field who are still great successes without the endorsement of snobbery. Kinkade is an artist who actually made an amazing living doing what he loved, and so I'm sure he lived life comfortably without the establishment's praise. Lack of praise is easier to handle when you earn several million more than your critics. In the end, the man was very popular and had his art in homes and offices all across North America. The man was a success in the industry he loved, and that is something all of us would love to be able to say.

Maybe he won't be remembered like other classic artists in 50 years, but he was a big part of today's culture. He left a strong enough mark on today, and his work will likely remain popular for years to come.

I send my condolences to his loved ones. I thank him for all the pretty pieces of scenery he has spread across the land. RIP Thomas Kinkade.

Friday, April 06, 2012

Please Baby, Go to Sleep

I love my son when he is awake. He is a lot of fun, and I cherish the bonding time. But sometimes, life is just better when he has drifted off to sleep. It wasn't always very easy getting Everett to sleep, and we had to learn several different strategies to accomplish the task. In today's "Dad's Eye View", I look at a few methods we used to get Everett to sleep, which may be helpful and wondrous if you have a baby unwilling to journey off to Sleepville. So, before you start your Easter festivities, go check out the article and then maybe take a nap. Because you know, reading can be tiring.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Some Reheated Good Friday Thoughts

I ended up not getting around to the blog today, because the pay copy has been imitating mountains. Not that I'm complaining, because such things afford me the luxurious life of frozen pizza and La-Z-Boy furniture. Since paying customer prefer finished product, then I spent the time doing such things

But you may have noticed the Easter weekend starts tomorrow. I usually like to throw in some thoughts on the major holidays. I also realized I wrote down some pretty good thoughts on it back in 2010. I still think they stand up pretty well here in 2012. I thought, I'd just throw them in the microwave and warm them up for you tonight. Don't burn your tongue.


Tomorrow is Good Friday, which happens to be a day that holds a lot of significance and power to a certain portion of the world's population, the Christians. But what if your religion or belief system does not fall under the Christian category? Is it just another day? Well of course, most have the privilege of being able to stay away from work for the entire day, which obviously is great value for many. Any day that I can leave the scanner by itself, is a very great day for me. But if your non Christian, does this day hold any more value than just a simple holiday? For any person who does not consider themselves a follower of Christ, would this just be a simple holiday that holds no other significance other than a reprieve from work like some other holidays (Labour Day and Civic Day, I am looking at you).

I did a little reflection upon this holiday, which is a day that holds so much significance for a specific religious group. I started realizing that the power of this day can be shared by people who do not consider themselves to be Christians. Yes, the main point of the day is to honour and reflect upon Jesus sacrificing himself on the cross in order for the entire world to be freed from sin. And yes, someone who isn't a Christian would not be able to share the same thankfulness and blessings as a Christian would. But I do think they can still appreciate the deeper message and do some of their own reflection.

If you cut out the religious subtext, the overall meaning is one of sacrifice. It is about a man (deity) who put the well being of others before himself, and made the ultimate selfless act of giving his life for a greater good. I know, that is a notion that almost anyone can appreciate and be moved by.

For a non Christian, this can be a day that they reflect upon those who made crucial sacrifices in order to help others. It can be honouring people who they personally know, such as showing respect for a single mother who puts her heart and soul into her children's well being. This is also a day that one can reflect upon other great men and women who who put their own lives on the line in order to push a noble cause they believed in. It can be a time to appreciate amazing people like Gandhi or Martin Luther King who put a great cause way above their own well being, and who ultimately sacrificed their own lives because they refused to back away from what they believed in.

It can also be a time of self reflection. How can we bring out greatness and hope for others? What do we need to sacrifice in order to help and love others? It can be a time to realize that there are things that are more important than ourselves. It is a time to think and brainstorm how those important issues can be addressed. I am sure there are many problems or dilemmas in your very own area. They may be personal and relate to your own family or friends. Or it may be bigger issues that involve your community. The big question is, what will you sacrifice or do to make sure a good cause is fulfilled?

I ask this question without knowing an answer myself. I do look to the past and see the ultimate love shown by men like Jesus and Gandhi and Martin Luther King. I hope, one day that I can show just a small fraction of the love, courage and strength they demonstrated. So, on this Good Friday, I will use this day to reflect upon sacrifice and love. Most importantly, I will think of what I can do to demonstrate that type of love myself.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Analyzing a Bomb

A box office bomb, that is. John Carter was going to be one of Disney's major tent pole films of the year, and I am sure they were even hoping it would kick off a lucrative franchise. Well, it is now going down in history as one of the biggest box office disasters of all time. Disney will likely hope everyone forgets about the movie in a year. But why did John Carter fail at connecting with an audience? I look at a few big reasons in today's Collective Publishing pop culture column. Check it out, and then let me know your thoughts over there in the comments section.

Parents Living on the Edge

It is a dangerous and hazardous life for parents. You never know when your next moment of peril can be staring you right in the eyes. Only a parent can really appreciate how many harmful and disastrous situations jump out on a daily basis. I am a parent, so I totally know. In today's "Dad's Eye View", I present several cautionary tales to help you be prepared for the life of parenting, and hopefully, get you equipped so you can avoid the several pot holes of disaster on the road of parenting.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Under the Weather

Which is far worse than being above it, or so it feels right now. I had loads of pay copy that apparently didn't know I was going to be sick today. I concentrated on that, and rested when I had a chance. It meant the blog got neglected today. I'll be back tomorrow if this bug cooperates and ends up being the 24 hour pest that I hope.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Quick Wrestlemania XXVIII Thoughts

Michael Cole signed off the show telling me I just watched the greatest Wrestlemania ever. I wouldn't agree with him by a long shot. But it was a pretty fun show, and all the matches I was looking forward to ended up delivering. It was a super-hot crowd. There was tons of energy during the big matches. It was full of all the pageantry and hype that you expect from the biggest wrestling show of the year.

I ended up going 5 for 8 with predictions, but in some cases, I am more than happy to be wrong. Especially in the main event, where WWE proved part of my column wrong, and now has me curious where the next direction will be. I guess, they deserve kudos for that, since there job is to get me to want to keep on tuning in. They have at least piqued my interest enough to check out tomorrow's Raw, and see how they move forward with tonight's results.

Sheamus over Daniel Bryan:
The Rumble winner finally takes the title, after several years where he has fallen short. I predicted that these guys would try to steal the show, and I was proved completely wrong. It wasn't any fault of their own. It looked like WWE wanted an 18 second comedy routine rather than a match. Yes, it was funny that Bryan got a "good luck kiss" only to turn around to a Brogue kick for the loss. It helped get Sheamus over as a new star. It was a bit of a bummer that Bryan didn't get to prove what a great wrestler he can be, and got squashed in his Wrestlemania debut instead. On the other hand, these guys were likely always going to get short changed, so at least it helped to strongly establish the start of Sheamus' reign and push forward the Daniel/AJ friction storyline.

Kane over Randy Orton:
I'm surprised Kane went over, but clearly, they want to keep this feud going until the next PPV. The match wasn't anything special, but the top rope chokeslam finish was pretty awesome.

Big Show beat Cody Rhodes: This was a great chicken heel try to take down the strong face type match. Rhodes tried many sneak tactics and got a decent amount of offense. This was a pretty fun match, and it had the proper finish. Show proved he can win at Wrestlemania, and finally got revenge over Rhodes. It was a satisfying face finally takes out the cocky heel ending with the knockout punch. Plus such a big name winning the Intercontinental title helps make that title mean a little more.

Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly defeats Beth Phoenix & Eve:
Remember when the women's division had wrestlers like Trish Stratus, Lita, Jazz and Molly? Well, this match sure wouldn't remind you of those days. If I cared about the women's division, I'd be disappointed the champion got pinned by an injured celebrity.

Undertaker beats HHH: Awesome. Simple as that. My wife even got into this match, and she can't stand wrestling. There was so much emotion, and the crowd really got into it. This wasn't a match all about high spots. Instead it was a brutally intense match that also told a story. Michaels was torn over if he should call the match straight, or help his friend break the streak of the man who ended his career. He even lost it at one point when he superkicked 'Taker and allowed HHH to hit the pedigree. They tricked me at a few moments when I thought they were going to end the streak. They even intensified things by finally allowing a bit of blood (first time in a few years). It was just a really emotional and intense match up that ended perfectly. Undertaker goes to a perfect 20-0, and shakes hands with Michaels to show hard feeling are over and then pays respect to HHH by helping him out of the arena. Great stuff. The crowd was hot all the way through, and if this is the end of both guys' careers, it was a fitting last hurrah.

Hall of Fame Tribute:
I loved the standing ovation Edge got. He even shed a few tears over the massive display of fan appreciation. I'm going to miss Edge, but it was a nice tribute. It was also cool to see Arn Anderson get respect even if it was in the form of inducting the entire Four Horsemen group. But man, Flair is looking like he aged 10 years since I last saw him two years ago. I love this segment, and I wouldn't mind tracking down the entire HOF ceremony.

Team Johnny beat Team Teddy:
It had a few cool spots, but it wasn't anything special. I think, the Money in the Bank matches were better use of several wrestlers in one match. It had a few high spots, and it furthered the GM story. I'm guessing, Teddy might be getting knocked off TV, and now we got some heel GM goodness to enjoy for several months now.

CM Punk over Chris Jericho:
It started off a little slow and the crowd was quiet, but when this thing picked up, it was pretty awesome. They totally had the crowd in the palm of the hands for the last half. This was a great world title match, and it felt like a true main event. It wasn't the finish I wanted, but I came out a bigger Punk fan with this match. There were some pretty cool reversal segments, and they filled the last bit with many believable close falls. I thought Jericho had the match when he turned the hurricanrana into a Walls of Jericho, but then there was some more reversal goodness. The crowd erupted huge to the finish, and I think it made Punk look like a bigger star. Plus he is on a roll defending the title, which helped elevate both the title prestige and himself as champion. I'm sure we have a rematch lined up still.

Dancing Grannies and Stupid Skits: Every skit was stupid. The dancing grannies were a waste of my time. They could have cut all the crap out, and gave us a good Bryan and Sheamus match.

Rock beat John Cena:
I knew Cena would win. I knew it. When Cole went on and on about how Cena had to win, this made it even more clear to me. Then he didn't win. I'm shocked. I'm super happy. I've always seen The Rock as the good guy in this feud, and Cena has come off as a crybaby to me. I paid to see the Rock, and I really wanted him to get another glorious win. So, I'm shocked, but very satisfied with the win. But where do they go after this? Rock leaves for the movies, and Cena now has to carry the company as the loser of two straight Wrestlemania main events. As for the match, it was incredible. The energy was unbelievable. The crowd was hot for the whole match, and they were into all the near falls. I thought it was going to end at many points. I love the fact it ended with Cena making the mistake of trying to mock Rock's finisher, and then getting caught in the Rock Bottom. Poetic justice. It was a great ending to a really fun show. It definitely reminded me why I used to be a wrestling fan, and that sometimes WWE can still get it right.

I also want to mention that it was super cool they brought out Jim Ross for the 'Taker vs. HHH match. I have a feeling the two guys specifically asked him to call the match. His voice added to the action, and reminded me he is still the best in all of wrestling.

It was a good show. If you missed it, it is definitely worth trying to track down the replay. I felt like my money was well spent, and it delivered everything I wanted out of it. If I have anything else to add, I'll throw it out tomorrow. For now, this is how a feel right after enjoying a great Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Wrestlemania XXVIII Predictions by a Guy Who Hasn't Watched Wrestling All Year

I've got a few regular readers who are avid wrestling fans, and so I occasionally try to throw them a bone. Wrestlemania XXVIII is the first PPV I'm ordering since 2003, so I thought I'd offer up my predictions for tonight's extravaganza. I should warn you that I've watched no current wrestling this past year, and so my predictions may not be coming from the most educated of places.

Rock vs. John Cena: I've talked about how this is the match that is going to draw in all the old and casual wrestling fans, and this is the reason right here why I'm buying this show (and this is likely the same for many other fans). Of the 75 000 plus crammed into the stadium and the million plus watching it on PPV worldwide, I'd guess about 80% want to see The Rock vanquish Cena. It is the finish that I want desperately, but I also know The Rock is going off to film movies for most of the year and Cena is left to be the top draw for the company. The most logical business move is to give Cena the victory, because they still need to try to use him to make money for the rest of the year, while The Rock is off TV the entire time. Of course, this means Cena will likely be booed out of the stadium, because he'd have just beaten the hometown hero and countless fans will be bitter that the super poser wins again. A Rock win only works if they have a plan in place to protect Cena, and have a money making storyline to shoot off from that loss. There is a chance they're thinking Cena vs. Rock II (with Rock winning this one to set up a second match next year), but that also then means their whole "Once in a lifetime" hype was a sham and not sure they want to admit that so quickly to the paying public. I'm sticking with a Cena win, but I deep down really want the Rock to win this thing.

Hell in the Cell Match: HHH vs. The Undertaker w/ Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels: Undertaker's Wrestlemania undefeated streak is one of the few things that still matters in wrestling. It holds more prestige than any of the current wrestling championships (I couldn't even name all the world champs in the past two years). There has been endless debate over who will end Undertaker's streak, and a belief it would rocket that wrestler's career into the stratosphere. At this point, I think Undertaker should just retire with the streak, and there are rumours this may be his final match. I don't see any way that HHH will actually win tonight, but I know it will be their goal to trick us all into thinking 'Taker may be losing. Especially since the special ref is not only HHH's best friend, but also the man whose career was ended by the Undertaker. They apparently had a mind blowing match last year, and it should be another hot match with it taking place inside the Hell in the Cell cage (wonder if they'll waive their no blood policy for the night). But Undertaker definitely will win this one, and make his Wrestlemania record a perfect 20-0.

WWF Title Match: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: You've got too super talented wrestler, who also happen to be major fans. So, you know their goal will be to steal the show at Wrestlemania; this should definitely be one of the highlights of the night. I've been back and forth on predicting who I think will win this one. In the end, I've decided Jericho will win the title via evil chicanery, and this will set up Punk to regain the title in his hometown of Chicago at the next PPV (which I have no clue what the name is, because they keep changing it every year).

World Title Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: At one time, winning the Royal Rumble meant you main event Wrestlemania, and were likely being put in the spot to be the vocal point of the company for the next year. Now, they have two world titles, and the Rumble winner not only rarely wins the title but often gets stuck in the midcard spot on the show. There is no chance in the world this match will be put in the main event spot, but I think it has an amazing chance to be a sleeper hit as long as it is given enough time to tell a story. I also think it is time to end the Rumble winner losing streak, and so Sheamus should win the title. Hopefully, this will lead to a much better reign and push after a hot win against the evil vegan, Daniel Bryan.

Intercontinental Title Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: Rhodes has been spending weeks embarrassing Show and getting the upper hand on him. It is now time for Show to get his big revenge and squash Rhodes for his first Intercontinental title.

Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the "we don't have anything else for are two main eventers, but they need to be on the show" match. I don't see this match getting much time, since I think the top matches will be eating up a huge chunk of the show. I'm thinking Orton is the bigger star, and he is in a throwaway match, so he has to get the win here.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy: It is a six vs. six tag match, but not really sure who all the participants are, because they keep changing them. The winning team allows their representing GM to control both brands, and if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, it is probably best you just don't bother to worry about it. Team Johnny should win by devious means, and will lead to a heel running both shows (Raw & Smackdown) and giving all the faces a hard time each week.

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve: Menounos is some kind of celebrity, and this is proven by the fact she is on Dances with the Stars. I'll say the celebrity team wins, so that the two people who ordered to show for her can go to bed happy.

The show is four hours long, and so all the top matches should get tons of time to tell a good story and build up the drama. The Rock vs. John Cena match is going to get an unbelievable fan reaction, and the energy should drive both guys to put on an unforgettable performance. HHH vs. Undertaker will be another really hot match, and the fans should be pretty rabid for it. I'm guessing the participants in the world title matches will be determined to steal the show, and try to create their own "Wrestlemania moment". A rabid stadium crowd along with some really exciting matches should make this a pretty incredible show. If you're ever going to pay money to watch some wrestling then this should be the show, and I'm pretty jacked up for it.