The 85th Academy Awards are ready to kick off. I'll be here giving my thoughts and ready to enjoy several hours of celebrating film.
How this will work is I'll keep updating content throughout the night on this post, and you'll just have to hit refresh to get the new insight.
Alright, let's rock this thing.
8:30: Tommy Lee Jones laughed. Seth McFarlane has already made history.
8:31: Seth hits two worthwhile and funny points. Oscars seem unaware Affleck was the director and Jean Dujardin's career apparently wasn't made by winning a "career making" Best Actor trophy.
8:32: Gibson and Foster jokes are kind of easy, but he still isn't any Ricky Gervais.
8:33: I was going to say Seth was funny without resorting to Family Guy humour, and then old pop culture reference of 3 decades ago comes down from the heavens in Captain Kirk to destroy my point.
8:35: "I saw your boobs" is a very unBilly Crystal number and juvenile humour, but I'll probably still be humming it by Thursday.
8:39: Sock Puppets reenactment wasn't Family Guy rip off humour because it wasn't animated or about a film in 1984.
8:41: McFarlane's "Denzel Washington has a sense of humour because he was in those Nutty Professor films," worth a laugh too. MacFarlane is officially better than James Franco as a host.
8:41: Though, being awake makes him better than Franco.
8:46: The Flying Nun gag seemed to be typical, "I really like old stuff so I will mention it" MacFarlane stuff I expected.
8:47: But I really like old stuff too, so he is still good.
8:48: "Be Our Guest" is once again. . . okay, okay, I know, we get the point. Seth likes stuff from other decades. I won't mention it anymore.
8:48: Listing the Supporting Actor nominees. I'm sticking to my Tommy Lee Jones pick, because he had so much energy and emotion. But everyone was amazing in this category, and I deep down would love a "We still remember when you were awesome and you seemed to too" award to Robert De Niro.
8:51: Christoph Waltz is a great win, because he is such a likable guy. He shows his awesomeness with a top notch speech. He seems quite touched.
8:53: Waltz was incredible as Dr. King Schultz, and he definitely deserves this win. Even if he makes me 0 for 1.
8:54: It shows the Academy is willing to give out Awards to the same people who won a few years ago, since Waltz won in 2009. It also gives Django Unchained momentum. But also shows Academy is following wins from more recent awards shows. It gives lots of hope for an Argo win too.
8:58: I saw Paperman right before Wreck-It Ralph. It was beautiful and sweet. Well deserved.
8:59: McCarthy and Rudd weren't hilarious, but still want to see them do a film together.
9:00: I'm thinking Brave won due to it being Pixar and Pixar must always win. It wasn't the best animated picture of the year. Sorry.
9:04: The recap of Beasts of the Southern Wild almost made me cry again.
9:05: Wife asked "Was this the movie that made you cry?" Well, the truth is that it was one of them.
9:06: The Les Mis recap and Life of Pi recap also reminded me how great a year it was in cinema.
9:08: Life of Pi deserved cinematography because it was a moving piece of art and visually stunning. It was awesome how much it touched the guy to be the winner.
9:11: Looks like Life of Pi is taking all the technical awards tonight. Visual effects win, and once again, no movie even came close to being as visually stunning. Some of the greatest effects ever and best use of 3D ever.
9:14: Sadly, Jaws ate up the team's acceptance speech. Stay classy, Academy.
9:15: The behind the scene workers in film have one chance to ever get recognition, and it is when they win awards. It sucks that they can't even just get a bit of extra time to revel in the moment.
9:16: But there is time for 2 minutes of lame humour between famous presenters.
9:18: If you want to win an award then film a Victorian dress up party. This is another lesson learned at the Academy.
9:19: Academy loves giving awards for properly capturing century old time periods, because they like to reminisce of their childhood.
9:22 Halle Berry makes James Bond proud with the ultimate double entendre with her Pussy Galore reference. Well played.
9:23 It is cool Oscars actually recognized James Bond 50th film anniversary with a fitting video package. I have feeling Twilight won't get the same in 5 decades.
9:24: Or Paranormal Activity.
9:25: Or Weekend at Bernie's.
9:25: I just pulled a McFarlane with that last one.
9:27: Also really cool to perform one of the more classic Bond anthems rather than something super current.
9:28: This tribute package is Academy's "Sorry, we never even considered you for Best Picture, even if people begged for us to pick Skyfall" consolation prize. Which may not be a great paperweight, but at least you don't need to worry about a speech that will get interrupted after you talk for 10 seconds.
9:32: I must sadly admit my short film watching is horribly. . . . well, short. I don't know any of these films.
9:33: Short fiction as a whole is an underappreciated but great form of storytelling. I need to try to watch many more, just like reading many more short stories.
9:36: Documentaries are something I need to watch a lot more too.
9:37: Love the point about standing up for the arts. I also think you need to stand up for making sure I make lots of money from creating art.
9:38: Zero Dark Thirty lets us "ease drop" is the best way to describe that film.
9:39: Argo video package gets me pumped to watch that movie all over again. Awesome.
9:40: Lincoln package reminds me that I cried at too many films this year. Another great film.
9:41: In the podcast, Scott and I criticized Zero Dark Thirty a lot, but it was a masterfully constructed film.
9:41: The "too soon" comment about Wilkes Booth was funnier than the joke.
9:42: I just saw a clip of why Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom will always be Spielberg's favourite film. Awesome to see in Hollywood a marriage can last that long, and even better Kate Capshaw has no reason to act anymore.
9:46: I haven't seen Searching for Sugar Man, but had heard rave reviews. I now definitely need to catch that documentary. Like I said, it is something I need to watch a lot more this year. A great and underrated art form that can compel true change.
9:49: Time to find out if my Amour theory has any strength.
9:51: Doesn't mean I am right about Best Picture, but Amour winning here makes me think this is its big award.
9:53: I still haven't seen Best Picture winner, Chicago.
9:55: Travolta says one thing I agree with from this decade, which is that musical's success is about suspending disbelief that actors will spontaneously sing. When you let it happen, it is magical and wonderful.
9:57: Dreamgirls clip reminds me that Eddie Murphy is another actor who got robbed his year from a deserved win.
9:58: This is supposed to be a celebration of musicals from the past decade, but they could only come up with three films?
10:01: Les Miserables wasn't one of the films that made me cry in 2012. I saw it in 2013.
10:02: Samantha Barks made Les Miserables, and makes me giddy to see her again. She will be back, I am sure of it.
10:05: That sort of felt like an ad for a film that has been out for several months. But it was still really impressive that they all came together in harmony at the end.
10:09: Now time for a video of all the awards we didn't want to waste time on tonight.
10:10: Seth McFarlane might be bashing his film, but that is easy to do when it was one of the highest earning films of the year. He can cry in one of his 5 mansions.
10:12: There was absolutely no way that a film that mixed in live singing could not win the Best Sound Mixing. Les Miserables is a distinguished picture due to this masterful work.
10:14: We are now in the awards that recognize talented people, but most of us go look for chips in the cupboard.
10:15 James Bond gets a video package and an award. Though he had to share his award. Plus he is a fictional character so he didn't really win it either. I also learned sound editors don't cut their hair.
10:19: Seth McFarlane is such a old pop culture geek, but that Sound of Music joke was pretty awesome.
10:20: I really hope Christopher Plummer does have 30 more films.
10:21: The first category Scott and I disagreed on the winner. I think we both did awesome picks, but I am obviously winning.
10:22: I actually think all the woman were awesome in Best Supporting Actress. I still think Field was spectacular, even she is definitely not winning. She was the real best in my opinion.
10:22: And I'm 1 for 2. Hathaway cashes in on her favourite status and gets the well deserved win.
10:24: I didn't pick Hathaway because I thought she was the best, but her performance was unforgettable. It was a major part of making it a memorable film. Plus thank you Anne for now putting me ahead of Scott.
10:32: I am a writer, Best Editing is one of the awards I just trust the Academy on and don't protest.
10:34: Is the Argo haul now beginning?
10:35: Jennifer Lawrence is apparently getting married after the show.
10:36: Remember when they sang all the Academy nominated songs? Was that a decade ago? Am I proving I am a geezer?
10:37: I never admitted to being an Adele fan, but this song is pretty awesome. There, I said it. It is perfect James Bond.
10:43: Tarantino is looking bummed that Nicole Kidman was picked to describe his movie.
10:45: The movie recap remind me how much this past year rocked. I want to watch Silver Linings Playbook again, right now. And Django, actually. I'll watch them at the same time if I have to.
10:46: And now, the one Best Picture I did not see or can even pronounce.
10:47: Kristen Stewart may have just woke up before presenting.
10:48: Lincoln starts getting some awards love. No film is running away with anything yet.
10:49: I think this was a "Academy loves old" win, because I'd have totally thought this was another Life of Pi victory.
10:50: I want to rail on Seth's jokes, but I am just jealous because it is the same stuff I'd have tried on this blog.
10:52: Now, a video of "Aren't we all great" awards. Though I really am not trying to downplay their achievements. I am just trying to cover the fact I blanked out when they mentioned what these life time achievements awards were for.
10:52: I was too busy daydreaming about Selma Hayek.
10:57: It is way past my bed time and we have tons of awards left. This show really doesn't like words "brief", "concise" or "getting a good night's sleep."
10:57: My favourite part of the Oscars every year, remembering those who passed away.
11:00 Fighting to not cry. So many legends were lost this year. This is always a classy and wonderful piece.
11:00 I miss Ray Bradbury, and touched they decided to honour him. So many of his great work turned to film.
11:02 Fitting a legend of the past follows up with a tribute. Barbara Streisand is class.
11:03 Or at least she is when she isn't starring beside Seth Rogen.
11:03 I succeeded in not crying this year during the tribute. I almost lost it with Bradbury though, because I'm a wimp. I admit it.
11:04: Because I am shameless, I actually want to mention that I wrote tributes to a few of the artists we lost this year.
11:06: I did fail to write a tribute to Nora Ephron, which was a failure on my part. She was a wonderful writer and inspired some of the most beloved romantic comedies that had smart writing like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and Julie and Julia.
11:09: Richard Gere does not seem to be aware where he is. Though I usually never do either, and he makes millions more than me, so he wins again.
11:09: John Williams should win Best Original Score, because he always should win.
11:10: Nope, Life of Pi wins instead. I am okay with it. Music was phenomenal in this film too. It helped enhance the amazing visuals.
11:11: I never heard of Chasing Ice. My film geek card has been revoked.
11:14: It was a documentary. Thus proving I really need to pay more attention to that medium.
11:16: Though 2 hours about glaciers may not be the introduction I need.
11:17: I totally called the Adele win. Which I can't prove because I told no one. But I was planning to. Honest.
11:18: Do we only have 3 more awards to go? Will this thing end before a new day begins? Academy is always about being so cutting edge.
11:19: Just like me who came up with the concept of live blogging coverage of the Academy Awards just like every other pop culture writer alive today.
11:21: Actually, there has to be at least 4 more awards left. Four awards which will take my record to 5-1, because I am a genius. Even though I'm pretty sure Argo will ruin another prediction.
11:22: Oh yeah, awards for writing. Okay, we've got million more awards to go.
11:23 Come on Beasts of the Southern Wild!
11:24: Okay, I think Argo is winning Best Picture, and thus I was wrong on my podcast pick. Not that a screenplay win makes a solid Best Picture win.
11:25: Sweet and heartfelt speech by Chris Terrio, and a damn good script that Affleck turned into magic.
11:27: I adore Django Unchained and think it is Tarantino's greatest picture. Even though he didn't get a director nomination, he got his recognition with the Best Original Screenplay.
11:29: Deep down, Tarantino prides himself as a writer and he crafts all his tales, so this award probably means more to him than Best Director.
11:32: Does Django now have more awards than the favourites?
11:33: I wonder if Tarantino can ever win Best Picture or will always be thrown a bone with best screenplay instead. I admit I didn't think he would win Best Screenplay this year, even though I wanted him to.
11:34: Wow, I didn't see Ang Lee winning. Good for him. He created the unfilmable novel into a magnificent movie.
11:45 Even thought I didn't predict it at all, and I didn't like Life of Pi as much as many other critics, I realize what he did was revolutionary.
11:36: You got to love Ang Lee. He loves us. A real class act. Life of Pi is a visual masterpiece, and really did make 3D an important part of the story.
11:38: Ang Lee is a worthy win, even though I bet many will disagree. It was that visual challenge that proves his skill and the fact this film was so ambitious that really earned him this win. Even if I don't think Life of Pi is Best Picture.
11:38: I am now sporting a 1-2 record, but Scott is skunked at the moment.
11:40: And now the Oscars are trying to rush things through, before it becomes Monday.
11:41: I try to stay awake.
11:41: Chastain made Zero Dark Thirty and made all the thrills and emotions in that film. But I still think Lawrence wins, and it was a stand out showing as well.
11:42: But I cry and party if Wallis wins this thing. Oh how awesome that would be.
11:43: Oscar doesn't go with the age stories, but with who they want to be the next huge star.
11:42: And I'm now 2-2. And Scott is still a skunk.
11:44: Jennifer Lawrence will be here again. She is a real talent, and a blockbuster star.
11:45: It was a joke, but a truth. Meryl Streep doesn't need any introduction. The legend of acting.
11:46: The acting this year was phenomenal. Every guy in this would have won this thing almost every other year. Cooper stood out as a real talent, and Lewis reminded us why he is the male Streep.
11:48: In the foregone conclusion, Daniel Day-Lewis wins it. He deserved it, I predicted it. But damn, Washington and Cooper were amazing this year too. I wish it could have been a three way tie.
11:49: Day-Lewis seems honoured and touched, but also delivers the funniest speech of the night. He is the awesome.
11:50: I would love to see Streep as Lincoln and as a musical. I'm down with that. Make it happen Hollywood.
11:51: Time for the main event.
11:52: I am currently 3-2 now. Scott gets on the board.
11:53: Michelle Obama is a known film buff. It is cool to see her get to list the nominations.
11:54: I'm honestly not sure who will win this thing. There hasn't been anyone who has dominated. Life of Pi has the most awards going in, I think.
11:55: Django and Argo have the screenplay wins.
11:55: I was wrong on the podcast, but right tonight. I'm glad Affleck gets his win as a producer and that Argo wins it. An incredible picture.
11:57: My favourite film of the year that didn't have a fountain of blood. I'll rewatch Argo for years. A true Best Picture.
11:58: Ben Affleck makes thought provoking and entertaining films. Key word: entertaining. He finally gets his acknowledgment. It is an incredible piece of filmmaking.
11:59: Ben Affleck proves he deserved to make a speech. Almost as good as his film too. He is touched. But he was inspirational too.
12:00: Almost ended before Monday arrived.
12:01: Kristin Chenoweth is kind of adorable. She is also almost orange, but a charming orange.
12:03: This loser song may have been one of those "it was awesome on paper, after downing 20 beers at 3am" ideas.
And the credits are rolled and the show is being moved to the party. The 85th Academy Awards show is over.
This means I am now done.
Thank you so much for sticking with me tonight. It was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed it too.
Have a good night, everybody.
Let me know what you thought of the show in the comments.