Thursday, September 10, 2015

10 Things I Learned After My Child's First Day of School


Everett finally had his first day of school yesterday despite my protests and attempts to turn the couch into a time machine. Even though I'm not really sure if Everett has learned anything new yet, as a first time parent of a young student, I've definitely become much wiser. Here are 10 things I learned from Everett's first day of school.

1. Teachers can be just as baffled as the parents by the grumpy lady that blocks them from taking their child to the classroom, which is why kindergarten has its own "secret" entrance.

2. Your child will swear up and down that his teacher didn't give anything to take home or provide any information for the coming days, what he really means is "you need to dig to the very far corner of my school bag where I stuffed all the really important things."

3. Asking "yes" and "no" questions are really great ways to practice the pronunciation of "yes" but otherwise, just a rather pointless way to pass time.

4.  On the first day of school the child goes on a "hunt", but the teacher clearly forgot to bury the treasure.

5. The new game after school will be "discerning fact from fiction" though one should assume all stories involving wrestling lions and flying to the sun are partly fabricated.


6. The second best feeling after seeing your child at the end of the school day is noticing that he is still wearing the shorts that he had on in the morning.

7. If your children refuse to tell you what they did that day, then just check their arms and hands for the story.

8. It only takes one day for all things spoken by the teacher to be law burned from above on unbreakable stone that even parents must bow towards, such as shoes that must stay at the school to avoid all who go off the premises turning to dust.

9. Apparently, after the teachers are done "playing" with the kids during the day, they go to work.

10. The blessed silence of an uninterrupted work day is a marvelous thing but is greatly surpassed by the joys of the chaos and noise that return at 4.



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