An Exclusive Interview with the Office Scanner

I've been mentioning the scanner, I use at the office, quite frequently in my recent blog posts. My time with it has been my excuse for some rather short and inconsequential posts. I thought, since it has been given so many mentions, it is only fitting that I should properly introduce it. Tonight, I am going to reveal the first ever exclusive interview with the scanner that I use at work.

Me: Hello Mr. Scanner, is it okay if I call you that?

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Oh wow, I never knew you were a girl. I am so sorry.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Listen, I said I'm sorry. How was I supposed to know? You look like all the other scanners in the office.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Woah, you don't need to get so feisty. I usually can't tell the genders of dogs either, unless I look underneath them.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: No, that isn't one of my hobbies.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: I am not sure I like the direction this interview is going.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Hey, I said that I was sorry, okay.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Alright, so let's start over. How long have you been 'employed' at the office?

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: What? Really?

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: No, I have no idea if the photocopier is interested in you.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: I am not saying you aren't good enough for the photocopier. I don't even know the photocopier. Is the photocopier even a guy?

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: I am not saying that it does matter. I was just wondering.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Yeah, I think this interview may have been a bad idea.

Scanner: BeeeeeeRrrrrr Zzzzztttt Naaaaa Vrrrrmmmm

Me: Yeah, I probably should stop only getting 5 hours of sleep a night. I'll go remedy that now.